#not my fault you don't look as good as me

[herrmannhalsteadproduction]

May I request different first meeting + meet funny? 😘💕💕💕💕

Cos we all deserved some fluff and floof in life heheheehe

Yes, you can! I hope you enjoy this and it makes up for the sad one!

Here be fluff, a different first meeting, and some laughs:

Donut Day was sacred.

This fact had been drilled into Tommy from his very first shift at Harbor. If it was your turn in the rotation, you came to work, donuts in hand. Or else.

Tommy was no fool. He'd never let himself find out what 'or else' was.

When it was his turn for Donut Day, he left two hours early so he could hit Pete's Donuts—arguably the best donut shop in all of L.A.—grab a selection of everyone's favorites, which he had memorized, thank you very much, and still make it to work on time.

Tommy was the king of Donut Day.

Except today—

Today, some guy—some punk kid—was going to cost him his crown.

To be fair, it wasn't entirely the kid's fault. Working an afternoon shift meant stopping by Pete's after the morning rush, but before the lunchtime restock was complete. Tommy thought he'd arrived early enough, but the shelves were looking pretty sad.

Which would have been fine if this guy hadn't made it through the door before him, securing a place in line ahead of Tommy, and seemed intent on buying out the place.

Nevermind, it was all this guy's fault.

Him and his...legs...that seemed to go on for days.

"I'll take that last Oreo one, please," the guy said and Tommy huffed under his breath.

Sorry about your luck, Jenkins. You're going to have to live with your second favorite—

"And that last strawberry shortcake one, too."

"Seriously?" Tommy whispered to himself, cursing his bad luck.

"Ooh, and that last triple chocolate one—"

"Oh, come on!" Tommy exclaimed, the words bursting out before he could stop them. Because really? Even the triple chocolate?

His favorite?

"Dude, what is your problem?" The guy whirled around to glare at him and Tommy felt it like a punch to the chest.

Because the donut thief was gorgeous.

Forget the legs for days and the muscled back and the equally muscled chest and arms—good god, the arms—how could Tommy focus on any of that when he was faced with the most beautiful blue eyes he'd ever seen.

And pouty lips on a mouth that had dropped open ever so slightly as the Donut Day interloper stared back at him.

"My problem?" Tommy asked, tearing his eyes away from the pouty lips back to the beautiful blue eyes that had gone wider when he took a little step closer. "My problem is you're going to get me fired if you keep buying up all the donuts. Or at least have a whole crew of hungry firefighters calling for my head."

He sent the donut thief a rueful smile. "Think you can help a guy out?"

"Y-you're a firefighter?" The guy said and if Tommy thought he was gorgeous before, he'd clearly misunderstood the meaning of the word. The grin that stretched across his face lit it up so brightly, Tommy suddenly understood why moths made such poor life choices.

He took another step closer. Drawn in by the light.

"I'm a firefighter too," the guy exclaimed. His face fell suddenly as he looked between Tommy and the display case of donuts. "It's my turn to bring the donuts too and if I don't bring the right ones, I'll never hear the end of it. Chim really likes those Oreo ones and Hen loves the strawberry shortcake—"

"Wait." Tommy laughed, shaking his head. "Are you at the 118?"

Of all the coincidences...

"Y-yeah, how did you know?" Blue Eyes grinned and this time he took a step closer.

"I used to work there, with Howie and Hen and everyone," Tommy said. He stuck a hand out. "Tommy Kinard."

"B—uh, Evan," Blue Eyes—Evan said. "Evan Buckley."

"Well, Evan Buckley, let's see if we can figure out a donut arrangement that works for everyone, yeah?"

The next ten minutes were spent playfully haggling over their choices—even going so far as to ask the very patient counter employee to cut a few in half. Tommy was pretty sure she'd been Instagramming most of their exchange so he didn't feel too bad about it.

Finally, donut boxes in hand, he and Evan left the shop, both lingering for a moment out on the sidewalk.

Tommy didn't miss the way Evan's eyes lingered over him at the same time. Zeroing in on his chin for some reason.

"That was some pretty good trouble-shooting in there," Tommy began, shaking Evan out of his chin-centric thoughts.

"Oh, uh, yeah," Evan said, shaking his head with a little laugh. "I'm going to get roasted over those donut halves though."

"You won't be the only one," Tommy said. He could already hear Jenkins' voice ranting at him over it.

But more importantly, he could feel the seconds ticking away before he and Evan would be going their separate ways and Tommy—for some reason—really didn't want to let that happen.

"You should give me your number," he heard himself saying. "So we can commiserate later."

"O-okay," Evan said, already digging his phone out of his pocket. "A-and you should give me yours. Tell me how you like the lime and jalapeno donut."

The one he'd talked Tommy into trying even though Tommy had zero tolerance for spice.

He was somehow already a complete pushover for this man.

They entered their numbers into each other's phones and handed them back with little grins.

"I should get going," Tommy said reluctantly, not able to put off the inevitable any longer. "It was really nice to meet you, Evan."

"You too," Evan said. "Tommy."

With one last smile, one last look, Tommy headed down the sidewalk to his truck, Evan leaving in the opposite direction.

Tommy turned back for one last last look and almost blushed at getting caught by Evan as he did it—before he realized Evan caught him because he was doing the exact same thing.

And Evan was definitely blushing.

Well.

How about that?

Despite his little donut thief adventure, Tommy still made it to work in plenty of time. He dropped the donuts off in the kitchen and stepped back as the hungry masses fell upon the boxes.

"Kinard!" Jenkins yelled out a few seconds later. He emerged from the huddle holding up half of an Oreo donut. "What the hell, man?"

"It was for a good cause," Tommy said. "Trust me."

Jenkins kept cranking at him, but Tommy was already tuning him out, attention caught by a new text on his phone.

A message from Evan.

Tommy opened it, chuckling over the picture of a very disgruntled looking Howie and Hen.

They're questioning our choices, the text read.

We'll just have to do better next time, Tommy wrote back.

He chewed on his lip, watching as three bubbles blinked in and out on his screen until finally—

Same time next week?

Can't wait, Tommy replied quickly.

He was going to be doing some heavy editing of the donut rotation for the foreseeable future and everyone was just going to have to deal with it...

Because Tommy had a donut thief to woo.

(This was from this ask game!)

[hms-no-fun]

this is like the first Big Transfem Question (whether your egg cracked because someone asked "if you could press a button and be always born a girl right now would you," or whether you just came out to someone for the first time and they asked "omg so are you gonna get/have you gotten The Surgery?") and everyone has their own answers, and their answers often change over time.

i know when i first came out i was pretty firmly disinterested in bottom surgery. part of this was a consequence of having tomboy gender and not really having much bottom dysphoria after HRT made unwanted erections a thing of the past. i felt deeply conflicted about the expectation that as a trans woman obviously i wanted to pursue Traditional Femininity. it quickly grew apparent to me that the pathway to the kind of polished acceptable transness you see in media is a lot of expensive procedures and surgeries and training, and as a lifelong broke bitch i resented that. especially when a trans youtuber made a jab at a clocky transfem earning her transmisogynistic harassment by essentially not trying hard enough to be a woman, that's when it really crystallized for me that i wanted nothing to do with this kind of post-drag-race bitchy high femme gender superiority. it's one thing to say that it's hard work to pass in public as a tall clocky trans girl; it's another thing entirely to act like it's her fault that she's clocky when there are real material and structural roadblocks to her reaching the standard of femininity you're expecting (to say nothing of whether or not she even WANTS to be that kind of feminine). so for me, surgery and laser and vocal training all got wrapped up in this tangle of resentful obligation that i neglected out of spite. i wanted to be a woman in a queer way, not in an assimilationist way.

but like, i did and kinda still do have that baby-trans feeling of like... well, if i could go back in the oven right this second and just sorta swap out for a vagina, i'd do it. this distinction felt important to me because i read a lot of posts about how sex for post-op trans women didn't feel the way they hoped it would, that the sensations were number and the recovery times were terrible and having to dilate was immensely painful and came with huge complications if you didn't maintain it. like there's that awful blaire white clip where she just straight up calls her vaginoplasty "an open wound" that's always trying to heal, and even as you know that's bullshit you kinda can't help but see gruesome post-surgery pics and recovery timelines and be like... well damn idk if i want to put myself through that!

what i've come to understand is that so so so so much of this perception discourse is colored by self selection bias. people don't post when they're pussy is working correctly. people don't post when the sex is good. i mean, maybe they do, but they don't post it in the same places they'd post recovery pics and ask for transition advice. someone who avidly posts through their post-op recovery probably stops posting once their new situation starts feeling normal. you can create the impression for yourself reading this stuff that the gauzy bloody swollen recovery phase lasts forever and is basically the entire experience. on top of that you can convince yourself that the end result never looks like a "real" vagina, because even after the gross part is over and done with it still takes months to a year or more for it to settle into its final shape. so there's ten million pictures of obvious post-op pussies because people post through it when they're sad, then time passes and you learn the rhythm of your new anatomy as it grows into itself, and the whole thing stops feeling like a such big deal. none of which is visible in the posts.

i've now had several friends go through various forms of gender affirming surgery, and the biggest surprise to me has been that it really doesn't seem THAT bad? somehow i got it in my head that these recovery timelines could stretch out for aaaaaaaages, but a friend of mine got the cadillac of bottom surgeries that used a bit of stomach tissue for the interior (paid for with medicaid) and she was back up on her feet in, like, two months-- albeit with serious restrictions on vigorous motion. sure, it seemed uncomfortable, but nowhere NEAR the level i was expecting. dilating is just free time for her to watch anime. same for top surgery, same for an orchi-- there's like a brief window of time where it's an inconvenience, and maybe complications can arise but generally? it kinda just seems like not a big deal. it's not this horribly traumatic invasive disgusting painful process-- it can be some of those things, probably it will be at least one of them for some amount of time, but very likely not all of them and not all at once and rarely to the extreme that we're sometimes led to believe.

honestly, the most annoying, invasive, violating part of surgery is getting the surgery approved. which is fucking hilarious considering the conservative firestorm against trans people is like 80% predicated on the assertion that trans people have too easy access to surgery. are you kidding me??? every trans person i know who has gotten any procedure, afab or amab, has had to get multiple letters from doctors/psychologists, gone through the assessment steps with a healthcare provider and surgeon, then had the whole approval process drag on long enough that their letters expired (a thing letters can do, apparently) which meant having to get new ones which meant pushing back the timeline again. like the level of pathologization and infantalization around essentially medically means-testing these procedures is fucking gonzo. it is a demeaning, demoralizing process ESPECIALLY if you have medicaid, where a parade of medical professionals take turns debating whether or not you're one of the crazy ones who's just doing it for kink and will immediately sue for malpractice afterwards (a cohort that definitely exists in real life), and it can go on for YEARS! if you're a working class trans woman who has to constantly prove her poverty to stay on food stamps, or maintain disability payouts, or just access any social program at all your free time is already dominated by these insanely accusatory administrative burdens that are constantly on the lookout for any excuse to cut you off because you're presumed to be an aspiring welfare queen. so to add the dehumanizing rigmarole of getting gender affirming surgery on the pile as an expected step of transition, at a time when even the nominally left party in the united states wants to make accessing such care even harder, is genuinely so fucking cruel on so many levels it defies my ability to discuss them without going into a frothy-mouthed rage (not very feminine of me, i know).

but the upshot of this is, i've now seen that despite all these burdens, surgery is worth it. most every trans person i know who's gotten one has come away feeling, in some sense, better than they expected. i don't want to oversell it as this like magically perfect experience, it's not, and obviously i haven't gotten surgery myself so i can only speak to what others have told me. but like someone i know got an orchi a couple months ago, and she went in worried about retaining sexual function only to come out after a few weeks of recovery feeling hornier than ever. her bottomwear fit better and made her feel less dysphoric. and somehow, psychologically, it was like a weight lifted off her mind. she felt different, truer to herself in some way. i've seen first hand the nuclear explosion of euphoria the first time a trans girl can really BOUNCE her post-op breasts. conversely i've witnessed the astonishing transformation of a trans man after top surgery, how his entire wardrobe and physical presence completely turned on its head and suddenly he just exuded self-ness. and all of these are trans people who spent years on waiting lists, struggling through letter expiries and clinic closures and staff changes and policy updates and inconsistent insurance requirements. all of them went through a period of recovery, and while some had complications that made their recovery difficult, nobody i know regrets it.

so, yeah, idk. i'm still on the fence about surgery for myself-- i think i'd like an orchi? or perhaps one of those really experimental surgeries where you get a bit of both. i'm certainly still intimidated by a lot of aspects of the process, but it's not scary to me the way it seemed when i first started transitioning. i guess if there's any message to this post it's that this is why having IRL queer community is so important. you might not feel brave enough to get surgery yourself, but someone else is, and maybe by being friends with them through the process (maybe by taking care of their cats while they're stuck in the hospital) you can slowly demystify it and realize that maybe you had the wrong impression all along.

A question for transfems, pick the option that matches the closest to you:

---

Option for nontransfems that want to click buttons: here.

[svetamillss]

Headcanons: their jealousy❤️‍🔥

Featuring: Kang Sae Byeok x Reader(f), Cho Hyun Ju x Reader(f), Ji Yeong x Reader(f), Kim Jun Hee x Reader(f)

A/N: Orders are always open for you!

❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Kang Sae Byeok

She's not the girl who will be jealous. And it's not even about the trust you've been building with her for a very long time, it's that she knows her worth and understands that you won't leave her for someone else.

But instead of jealousy, she has a huge malice towards some people, namely to men who like to flirt with you when she goes somewhere for a short time. And then she has two options. The first option: she will calmly ask they to leave you alone. The second option: if they don't listen, she'll hit them.

The second happens more often, because the men think she's just joking.

- God, you broke his nose! - you said in horror when the two of you ran away.

- There's nothing to touch someone else's. I said him, but he didn't listen. That's why it's his own fault. But now I won't leave you, it will be safer that way. - she said the last sentence with a slight smile.

You understood, even if she is not jealous of you to others, it does not mean that she does not love you.

Cho Hyun Ju

Your girlfriend may be jealous, but not because she doesn't trust, she just often thinks that you deserve more than her.

And every time you have a nice conversation with your friends, she looks at it with a slight irritation and you immediately feel it.

- Did something happen, Hyunnie? - you ask when you finished the phone conversation with your friend.

- No, everything is fine. It's just that you talked so sweetly with your friend. - she said, sulking slightly on you.You approached her and buried your face in her chest.

- You're jealous, Hyunnie.

- Not at all! What did you get it from! - she said nervously, which made you laugh from her.

- When you lying, you blush.

- I blushed from your actions, not from lies, baby. - she tried to get out, but under your eyes she gave up and admitted that she was jealous.

- My dear Hyunnie, you know that I don't need anyone but you and I love only you. - you said, gently kissing his face, you knew that it was a good way to calm a girl down.

- I know, but I can't help myself.

- So all evening I'll be proving to you that you don't need to be jealous. - you answered teasingly and it seems that she understood.

Ji Yeong

Your girlfriend is not jealous. Again, it's not about trust, but about the fact that she doesn't need it at all. After all, you spend all your free time with Ji Yeong, only your work distances you from each other.

You don't have many friends like she does, so you're always with a girl.

And when you sit in a cafe and a guy appears on the horizon who looks at you for a very long time, your reaction will make her laugh a lot.

- Honey, that guy at the next table has been looking at you for a long time, it even seems to me that he will hypnotize my girlfriend soon. - she says with a pretend resentment.

- It's strange, I don't see anyone here except you. - you answer, without even looking around, just looking into the girl's eyes.

- That's why I love you.

- I know, my love.

Kim Jun Hee

Your girlfriend is jealous, but not very much, you almost always spend time with her and her child. She even gets ashamed sometimes when she is jealous of you to your friends or work colleagues, because you are the perfect girl.

You are more jealous in your couple, especially to her ex-boyfriend Le Myung Gi, who often revolves around her and the child, although there is nothing to be surprised about, the child is from him.

The girl feels it and explains to you that she doesn't love him anymore and will never come back to him.

- Honey, I'm talking to him only because of the child, so I would have stopped communicating with him a long time ago. - she said hugging you when she saw jealous looks from you.

❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

[le-fruit-de-la-passion]

I keep seeing people worship Christian Linke for some shit he’s said and ignore the fact this man is antisemetic and heavily insensitive towards non white and straight characters HE IS NOT YOUR ALLY

I genuinely think people just don't know how much of a shitty person he is. Seriously, that dude was quite possibly the worst person to put in charge of a project like Arcane. Here are just some of things he's said that you should know of:

• Linke said the death of every character in Arcane was a direct result of their own actions : "Every single big beat in the end with our characters, whether it’s a death or not, is a consequence of their choices."

So, I'd like you to explain to me how Vander's death was his fault, because I don't quite remember him agreeing to becoming Warwick. Also, maybe having the three characters portrayed as suicidal in the show (Jinx, Viktor, and Jayce) all die, and go on to say it was just the consequences of their own actions... isn't a good message?

• Linke has declared Viktor as asexual on his own, with the sole purpose of discouraging JayVik shippers : "There is a love. I don't think it's romantic [...]. To me, Viktor was always asexual".

Now, the issue here isn't having an asexual character, its having chosen VIKTOR, one of the most important characters for disabled rep in animation and popular media, to be asexual. I've went on and on about how infantalizing that is to disabled/chronically ill fans, because we NEVER get to be perceived as sexual beings. Having a body that's visibly different from the norm, or limits on certain abilities, turns off people, makes them uncomfortable. That's why you just never see a sexually active or a sex positive disabled character on screen. That's why, in all his "sexy" skins in LoL, Viktor is given a six pack, has no visible marks of illness on his body (scars, fatigue lines), and has no medical brace or crutch.

Viktor was always intended to have a sexual swagger in season 1 ("this isnt my bedroom") and that was EXTREMELY important to a lot of us in the community. I've seen a very similar response from the asexual community as well, who feel like Linke is using their identity and experience as a shield from fan interractions he dislikes, and without actual care for what it means to the characters. Don't fall for rep that isn't actually meant to represent you.

• Linke has directly and openly compared the Zaun and Piltover conflict to the left and right in the United States, and put both sides on equal moral footing : "If you’re asking me whether we were inspired by two sides of one nation who are incapable of even talking to each other anymore at a certain point, yes."

So, I don't think I need to explain how bad this is. Remember that Piltover is the city of wealth and enforcers, and that they've gazed the district of Zaun, dumped chemicals around their water suplies, directed brutal and deadly repressions of civil uprising and protest, offered no financial support to the struggling communities of addicts, disabled people, and orphans, refused Zaun any implication or decisional seat in the city political life, AND THAT'S JUST ON TOP OF MY HEAD. Now, think about what that means with the USA politics comparison, and the idea that they should "just listen to each other". Yeah.

Now, if you know me a bit, you know I live in Canada, so maybe you think this doesn't affect me personally, or that it doesn't affect you because you live outside the US. To that, I want to tell you about a neighbour of mine, who lives on the street parallel to my house, and this truck he owns. The truck has a whole lot of fun stickers and flags on it: the quotes "TRUMP ARREST TRUDEAU" and "CANADIANS FOR TRUMP", the israeli flag, the confederate flag, christian crosses, the blue lives matter flag, and an anti BLM sticker. Now, I'm sure theres more cool things, I've just never gotten close enough to look at the smaller stickers and ornaments because, as a very openly bi arabic woman, I'm scared to death of that man. But maybe I should just hear him out, right?

Tldr, do not think that the state of american politics doesn’t affect the rest of the world.

• Linke has called the people of Zaun and specifically Silco "Svengali", which is an antisemitic name that implies Jewish people are crooks / dirty / thiefs / sexual degenerates. There's a great post on Tumblr that goes more into detail about this (https://www.tumblr.com/endearing-dalliance/769693230696677376/another-blow-against-arcane-anti-semitism?source=share). I'd just like to insist on how bad calling someone "svengali" is. His character was used in many pieces of propaganda in Nazi Germany to picture the "Evil Jew", and to dehumanize Jewish communities by portraying them as ressembling Satan (forked beard, can do unholy hypnosis, targets women...). Linke could have chosen ANY other term to talk about Zaunites, the oppressed community getting gazed by a police state, but he chose that one. That was not an unconscious decision.

I'm a firm believer that it is possible to separate art from artist/studio/company, and to appreciate something while still being aware the person behind it is not a great individual. However, if you're defending all the decisions made in season 2, these are things you HAVE to be aware of.

[caelivir]

Um um.....Miya atsumu Long way 2 go -- Casie

And and trope- enemies to lovers??

Also I love your writing👾👾

now playing: long way 2 go by casie

atsumu? this song? enemies to lovers? i think you just sent me to heaven. i don't think you understand how hard i'm geeking right now. i keep whisper screaming "YOU'RE A GENIUS". and thank you!

content. rich boy!miya atsumu x fem!reader, atsumu’s lowkey a downbad loser, tension (at least i hope it is) | wc. 905

atsumu thinks he's hot shit. you know of plenty of guys his type. how could you not? your school is full of them. they think their good looks and endless pockets let them get away with anything. there’s so many of them, but out of all of them, the one you despise the most is atsumu.

you’ve never met someone with an ego so inflated that it rivaled the size of earth. there’s no one who makes you want to tear out your own nerves out more than him.

atsumu is well-aware that you loathe him. he hates you just as much, but instead of ignoring you like a normal person does, he discovers new ways to tick you off. he's like a bacteria who's always finding a way to invade your system.

and now you’re stuck with this damn vermin in a tight, janitorial closet, and it’s his fault.

“be honest. are you an imbecile? like were you dropped as a baby? how do you miss the sign that said, ‘lock broken. leave door open if inside.’?” you fume in the dark.

“do ya ever shut yer mouth?” you don’t need to see atsumu to visualize the harsh glare he has. you can hear his hands fumbling around, searching for any kind of light switch.

you scoff. “oh that’s loaded coming for you. thanks to you, we’re missing class right now!”

at that moment, you hear a click, and a warm light fills the room. you never realized how close atsumu actually was. his body is nearly pressed against yours, his arm hanging above from when he pulled the cord of the light bulb down.

atsumu’s eyes are just as wide as yours, and he backs up, even if it’s only a mere step before his back crashes into a shelf of cleaning supplies that clatter upon contact.

you wince. “do i repulse you that much?”

atsumu doesn’t give you the grace of responding, narrowing his eyes at you as straightens his back, rolling back his shoulders in the limited space he has. when he loosens the tie of his school uniform, you stare at the hand tugging it down, veins prominent on his skin.

the action was… hot… to say the least. your hand twitches like it wants to slap you for ever thinking that.

“you don’t.”

“what?”

atsumu looks annoyed at the fact that he has to repeat himself but he does anyway. “you don’t… repulse me.”

“not true. you actively try to make my life hell every single day. no sane person does that unless they absolutely despise someone.” you correct, chuckling without humor.

“i…” the sentence crumbles in his throat. you see a blush creep up on his neck. the rosy pink reaches the tips of his ears. he turns his head away as if he were ashamed.

you laugh. now this is a sight, miya atsumu actually being embarrassed. you want to push this, see how far you can go.

“what is it, miya?” you tease, taking a step closer to invade his space. “cat got your tongue?”

atsumu backs up even further into the shelves. you’re sure it’s digging into his back. he gulps at the sight of you.

“do i make you nervous?” you trail your finger on his tie. atsumu follows the motion until it leads his back up to your eyes.

he burns a brighter red. “like hell i do.”

it hits you then.

oh.

oh.

“you hate me.” you breathe out in a whisper. “and you like me.”

atsumu tenses like you just caught him in an act, like you just announced it to the entire freaking world. you wrap your hand around his loose tie. once. twice.

“you’re so pathetic.”

it’s the last thing you utter before you’re tugging him by his tie, pressing your lips to his. atsumu’s reaction is immediate, resting his hands on your hips, bunching up the skirt of your uniform.

he wants more. you can sense it by the way his hands are slipping down to your thighs, and because of it, you pull away. atsumu chases after your lips, but you slightly pull your head back. you see the annoyance in his eyes.

you pull him again by his tie again, this time bringing his ear by your mouth. “don’t get it twisted, miya. you still piss me off, but i’m a firm believer of thinking that things can change. you want me? work for it. earn it. ‘cause the way you are now you’re still a long way from having me.”

the door to the closet swings open suddenly, flooding the room with a light brighter than the one shining over your heads.

“damn kids,” the janitor grumbles. “what the hell are you doing in here? you’re here at best school in the country and don’t know how to read, even skipping class. unbelievable.”

you smile, unraveling your hand from atsumu’s tie. “sorry for the inconvenience, sir. my friend here will pay you for the trouble we caused. consider it a token of appreciation for keeping our prestigious school so clean and beautiful, if you know what i mean.”

the janitor is practically bubbling with joy the moment he comprehends the meaning behind your words. atsumu glares at you like you’re unbelievable. you only wink, waving goodbye and blowing a kiss as you saunter down the hall, the fire of atsumu’s lips still lingering on yours.

[jedi-enthusiast]

You're saying that the reason Anakin committed genocide against the Jedi was because of the things that THEY did or did not do, you are placing the blame on the VICTIMS of Anakin's actions---which, yes, counts as you robbing him of any agency or accountability and defending his actions, whether you acknowledge that he had predispositions to violence or did other atrocious things or not. Victim blaming isn't a good look, nor is it something that I find passable in a debate---no one MADE Anakin do anything, he made those choices himself, so the only person at fault is HIM.

Now onto your other arguments:

"The Jedi are deliberately telling their Padawan younglings to prioritize reason over emotion, which aren't mutually exclusive from one another."

I take it you didn't make it past the first sentence of my reply, so I'll explain it to you again in the simplest terms I can:

The Jedi teach them to ACKNOWLEDGE their emotions and WHY they feel them, so that they are not CONTROLLED by their emotions

AKA emotional mindfulness and control which are, again, things literally taught in THERAPY because they are HEALTHY PRACTICES. No emotion and reason aren't mutually exclusive, but if you let yourself be completely ruled by emotion then that leads to the type of shit Anakin did: multiple massacres, multiple genocides, the attempted murder of his wife and unborn children, etc.

The Jedi recognize that and quite literally just teach their members to be mindful of their emotions and not let them be controlled by them, I'm sorry if that sounds so awful to you but it's actually a very healthy mindset to have---and important, especially when you're a group of people with psychic abilities directly connected to your emotions and the universe.

Wanna know who also thinks emotional mindfulness is terrible and they shouldn't practice it? The Sith. Y'know, the genocidal, self-centered, evil fascists of the franchise.

And, not for nothing, but if teaching emotional mindfulness is so terrible then why did it work for basically everyone else for thousands of years, save for a couple rare cases---the majority of which happened because of Palpatine's influence.

If 10,000 people don't end up murdering children after being raised to be mindful of their emotions and 1 does, is the problem how they were raised or is that 1 person an outlier?

"You're telling me that someone who had become more in touch with the force than Grand Master Jedi Yoda for the first time in centuries was going to be overlooked? Especially since The Jedi had already become living weapons for The Republic in The Clone Wars?"

Being POWERFUL in the Force is not the same as being IN TOUCH with the Force.

Anakin WASN'T "in touch" with the Force---to be in touch with the Force requires that emotional mindfulness you think is so terrible, and Anakin is shown to also think said mindfulness is stupid and not practice it- (again, I'll point to the multiple massacres, angry outbursts, putting others in danger because of his pride or fear or whatnot).

And, believe it or not...yeah, the Jedi would, and ARE SHOWN TO, treat Anakin like everyone else. Sure they'd keep an eye on him because of his natural power, but the Jedi don't value power over everything else---again, that's what the SITH do---what they value is emotional mindfulness and mastery of skills---something that takes both time and patience. It's why Anakin wasn't given the rank of master and why Obi-Wan was able to defeat him at the end of RotS, even though technically Anakin was more powerful.

Anakin is shown throughout literally everything he's ever been in to think emotional mindfulness is bullshit and to never practice it: why would the Jedi supposedly value him more than everyone else if he refuses to even TRY to practice one of their most basic tenants? And Anakin, by RotS, is also shown to have mastered zero skills---he just wants things when he wants them, how he wants them, without taking the time to actually learn and practice and ADMIT WHEN HE'S WRONG or NOT THE BEST AT SOMETHING.

Which are things we see him struggle with throughout the prequels: he rarely admits to being wrong and generally reacts ANGRILY when someone else suggests it, and he routinely thinks he's better than everyone else at everything else---even people with far more experience who've actually taken the time to master their skills such as Mace Windu, Obi-Wan, and Yoda. This leads to him overestimating his abilities which then leads to him eventually being defeated by Obi-Wan, because raw power is no match for mastery of skills and experience.

So yeah, the Council wouldn't give him a seat or think he's better than everyone else in the Order just because he was born with a little more power than your average Jedi.

That'd be like NASA thinking that I should be the lead person calculating the trajectory for their next rocket because I was naturally really good at math in high school instead of like...an actual astrophysicist that's dedicated years of their life to study and practice of that shit. You see how dumb that sounds?

"Dozens of people have made plenty of different outcomes for how the prequels could have ended, and a great most of them have pointed out that The Jedi Order could have treated Anakin differently. They are, for all intensive purposes, his foster parents until he becomes a jedi knight. Anakin wasn't born wrong, he was raised wrong, and the reason for his upbringing was because of the Jedi's negligence of the outer rim, and therefore, his family's slavery. He would have been found sooner, and ignoring the fucked up implications of taking a child from their family for the sake of making them a governmental weapon, (consented by the family or not) he wouldn't have been so attached to his mother that soon, and would've grown up fine. (if detaching yourself from the personhood of having acknowledged your emotions is fine to you)"

You can't use fan fiction as an argument, I can't, it's just fucking stupid.

If you're saying that the Jedi are in the wrong because FAN FICTION said so, then I can basically say whatever I want and it's true because I'm sure there's a fanfic out there that supports it.

"If Qui-Gon had just killed Jar Jar in TPM then everything would be fine and saved because Jar Jar was actually a Sith and the reason Palpatine got emergency powers!"

There. The end. No more arguments. Fan fiction said so.

If you're gonna sit here and argue that Anakin's actions are somehow the Jedi's fault then you're gonna actually need to go off of canon and not the fan fiction you read that directly feeds into your own confirmation bias.

----------

I've already explained why how the Jedi raised Anakin, and everyone else, wasn't bad, so let's go on to the rest of it:

The Jedi did eradicate slavery...in the REPUBLIC.

The reason the Outer Rim still has slavery is because it ISN'T part of the Republic---and therefore outside of the Jedi's jurisdiction---it's why Padme is so shocked in TPM. In TCW there's literally an entire episode dedicated to saying: "the Jedi took down the Zygerrian slave empire, so the Zygerrians hate the Jedi and take Jedi as slaves because they hate them so much, and are specifically joining the Separatists because the Separatists allow slavery where the Jedi, with the support of the Republic, didn't."

@antianakin @david-talks-sw and @gffa all have a couple posts each explaining it in better detail, but here's my regurgitation of their points:

There are only 10,000 Jedi at the time of the Republic and---even if we assume that that's ONLY including the able-bodied knights and masters---there are over a trillion planets in the galaxy. For the sake of easy math, let's say there's only a million planets total and only 100,000 planets in the Outer Rim.

That means that EVERY SINGLE JEDI is in charge of 10 planets EACH, every planet having millions---if not BILLIONS---of people on them. Does that sound reasonable to you? To have one Jedi take care of 10 planets by themselves alongside all the rest of their duties? And that's with us vastly UNDERESTIMATING the amount of planets.

The only reason that the Jedi could eradicate slavery in the Republic is because they had the SUPPORT of the Republic in order to enforce the outlawing of slavery. They DONT have that support when it comes to the Outer Rim.

Even if the Jedi somehow managed to eradicate, let's say, the Hutt slave empire, they have other duties that would then take them away from the planets involved---defending the Republic, providing aid to other planets, raising and teaching and taking care of their own people, etc.---which would then leave a power vacuum for another group to just come in and resume what the Hutts were doing.

The only way to prevent that is for a government, like the REPUBLIC, to step in and stop that from happening---again, the support of which they don't have.

It's not the Jedi's fault that the Republic doesn't want to start a war with the many crime lords of the Outer Rim in order to take power and outlaw slavery there---if you want to blame someone for that, blame the Senate.

----------

1. If you want to be pissed that the Jedi took Anakin, get pissed at Shmi---she's the one pressing Qui-Gon to take him in TPM and SPECIFICALLY RAISE HIM AS A JEDI. If you want to pretend that being a Jedi is such a terrible thing, get mad at the mother who's advocating for him to be one. Not to just get him out of slavery, but specifically to BE a Jedi.

2. The Jedi aren't WEAPONS until TCW when Palpatine---yknow the Sith fascist that's specifically planning on committing genocide and overthrowing democracy so he can be a dictator---uses his influence as the Chancellor to strong arm the Jedi into becoming generals. Mace Windu, on behalf of the Council, tells Palpatine that they AREN'T soldiers---but Palpatine and the Senate don't listen. Not to mention that, in TCW, serving as generals and trying to protect people is the best option they have, because the other option is basically just leaving everyone to die

3. Anakin being attached to his mother isn't the fault of the Jedi, it's just the natural result of growing up in slavery and the only way Anakin could've worked past that is if he actually practiced what the Jedi taught---which he didn't, which is also why we see him murder children in response to his mother dying.

And finally 4. so Buddhists are "detaching themselves from personhood" by practicing non-attachment? That's really the argument you want to make? Because I told you that what the Jedi practice is shit taught in therapy and taken directly from Buddhist doctrine, so you REALLY want to say that?

I'm sorry that you think acknowledging emotions and practicing emotional mindfulness is some kind of abuse or whatever, but just because YOU think it's bad doesn't mean it actually is. You don't become "less of a person" by not letting your emotions control you---acting out because of your emotions isn't what makes you a person, being a person is a lot more than that.

And, as for your tags, I DO consider you an Anakin apologist because you're basically saying- "yeah Anakin did terrible things...but if THE JEDI hadn't done x y z then he wouldn't have" -which, yeah, falls under Anakin apologia.

You're the one who's refusing to admit that they're wrong, so take the L and get your anti-Jedi bullshit off my page.

I’m gonna be honest, one of the main reasons why I can never really understand any defense of Anakin or get behind a good majority of “Anakin redemption” fics, is the fact that he murdered children.

Like let's just ignore the multiple genocides and enslavement of the galaxy for a moment, since technically you could argue that he only had a hand in that and didn't actually do it all himself, Palpatine, manipulation, blah blah blah-

He personally murdered children.

On two separate occasions, mind you.

Yes, murdering adults is also bad---don't think I'm saying it's not---but at least adults can actually try to defend themselves, most of them don't depend on the people around them to survive, and they have years of experience living in the galaxy that's given them skills they could use to survive if they managed to get away.

Children do not have any of that or---if they're a bit older and do---the skills they have are extremely underdeveloped. They cannot defend themselves, they depend on the people around them for everything, they have not lived long enough to develop sufficient enough skills to survive on their own in a world that's turned against them.

Argue all you want about the Council being "evil" and "stagnant" and "needing to die for the betterment of whatever," argue all you want about the other Jedi being "terrible to Anakin" and "deserving" their murder because of whatever reason, the CHILDREN had done NOTHING!!!

What could the children that Anakin murdered have done to "deserve" such a fate? Why did they have to die? Why couldn't they have been spared.

And the Tuskens!

Even if we assume that all of the adults in that village were personally involved in murdering Shmi, why did he murder the children? What did they do to "deserve" murder, other than having no control over who they were born as?

And like, we see in TBoBF that the Tuskens aren't just heartless monsters, they protect their own especially their young---are you telling me that none of the children tried to run? That none of the parents or elders told them to go while they tried to fight Anakin off?

And still, Anakin hunted them down and murdered them.

So no, even if you could explain away all the other atrocities Anakin has committed, I still wouldn't think any less negatively about Anakin.

He murdered children.

And I don't think that's excusable.

[light-the-spark-of-dawn]

Jason Todd was That Kid who would stay up all night reading if no one stopped him- and he was also sneaky enough to hide his book and pretend to be asleep when Alfred or Bruce checked on him. Unfortunately, this usually meant that he ended up cranky and tired during the day- and his nighttime patrols as Robin only made things worse.

Most parents would simply confiscate the book and flashlight. But most parents didn't have kids who were adopted street rats. It had taken far longer for Jason to become comfortable in the Manor than it had for Dick, and neither Bruce nor Alfred wanted to undo that progress by taking away his possessions, even if it was temporary and for his own good.

Hilariously, the solution came in the form of Hal, Ollie, and Barry all falling asleep during a Justice League meeting while Bruce was reading off a report. Even Clark and Diana were starting to doze off toward the end. And not a single one of them were even the slightest bit apologetic about it.

"Sorry Spooky, but I don't have the willpower to stay awake through your speeches."

"I have an accelerated attention span, so you might only have been talking for twenty minutes but for me it's more like three hours. And my blood sugar is starting to crash."

"This meeting could and should have been an email."

"To be fair, it was a very dry report."

"You have a nice voice, Bruce. But we can only listen to it for so long."

Incorrigible menaces, the whole lot of them. He missed the days when his fellow heroes were too intimidated to talk back to him. Still, his friends' irreverence gave Bruce an idea. He returned to the manor and went to check on his son. Sure enough, there was light peeking out from beneath his bedroom door. "Can I come in, chum? I know you're awake."

"...how'd you know?"

"I'm Batman." Even through the closed door, Bruce can feel Jason's judgmental look. "And even a little bit of light is pretty noticeable in a dark hallway."

"Damn. Alright, come in."

The hinges creak as Bruce pushes open the door. Jason is sitting up in his bed, with a thick book on his lap and flashlight in hand. His face is expressionless, but Batman's careful eye notes the slight tension in the boy's posture.

Bruce pulls Jason's desk chair over and sits next to the bed. "So, what're you reading?"

Jason tilts the book upward to show the cover of The Complete Works of William Shakespeare.

"Huh. I thought you preferred prose."

"I do." Jason shrugged. "But Othello was interesting enough when we read it in class, so I figured I'd give some of the other plays a shot."

"I see. So which one are you reading now?"

"Julius Caesar."

"Ah I had to read that for my eighth grade English class. Alfred told me then that Shakespeare sounds better when read out loud." Bruce pointed at the book. "Mind if I have a crack at it? I have it on good authority that I have a nice voice."

"Who said that??" Jason looks skeptical but still hands over the book.

"Wonder Woman." Bruce flicks on Jason's desk lamp so he can see the letters, leans back in the chair, and begins to read, "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars..."

As Bruce reads the lines of iambic pentameter in a slow, steady cadence, Jason's eyelids begin to droop. Before long, he's fast asleep, and doesn't stir when Bruce stops reading and tucks a bookmark between the pages, when he sets the book down on the desk and turns off the lamp, or even when the hinges creak as he closes the door behind him.

Just in case though, Bruce waits in the hallway for several minutes to see if Jason's flashlight comes back on. Thankfully, there is only darkness. Bruce breathes a sigh of relief, then jumps at Alfred's sudden quiet whisper.

"Quite the performance, Master Bruce. Though I do think the Bard would consider it a tad underwhelming."

"Well," Bruce chuckled. "you told me once that an actor should play to his crowd, and my audience was one boy who needed to sleep."

"An unorthodox interpretation of my lesson, but if it encourages Master Jason towards healthier sleeping habits, I think it is a lesson applied well." Alfred nudges Bruce's elbow gently, guiding him along the hallway toward his own bedroom. "Now, do follow his example and get some rest. Or else I shall have to recite Pericles, and nobody wants that."

[ofstarsandvibranium]

To Have and To Hold: Part 12

Fandom: Marvel - Moon Knight (Mafia AU)

Pairing: Marc Spector x F!Reader, Steven Grant x F!Reader, Jake Lockley x F!Reader

Summary: To ensure you’re always safe even after his passing, your father, a mob boss, makes you marry his right hand, Marc Spector. You don’t necessarily hate Marc, but you don’t get along either. Therefore, this marriage of convenience may be a bit difficult for you.

Warning: smut - oral (f receiving), unprotected p in v

A/N: surprise! idk who still cares for this but one of my new years resolutions is to finish some of my unfinished series so here we are.

Series Masterlist

It's late when Marc arrives to your father's home, well, his home now. He anticipates you're already asleep as he heads to the office to decompress after that very long talk with Layla and everything else he had to deal with today.

He had to admit that he did still care for the woman. Did he love her? No, but he'd always want the best for her.

Laying everything out on the table was good for him. He admitted his faults, apologized for being so stubborn and never reaching out until now.

Layla was still stubborn and firey as ever, but she understood. She accepted Marc's apology and offered up her own as well.

Then she asked if it was possible to try again.

That's when Marc admitted he had fallen for someone else, for you. He didn't tell her the whole truth behind his relationship with you, but he explained that it was unexpected. And it's true.

He didn't expect to fall for you when he agreed to the proposal your dad set out for him. Then the more time he spent with you, the more he understood why everyone called you Sunshine. You're sunlight personified.

You bring warmth and joy to everyone you meet, even Marc. And Marc thought he'd never feel this way again after Layla and all the bad he's done. But you brought something out of him, you allowed him to open himself up to love and light.

Seeing Marc's face when he spoke of you, Layla could see that Marc had genuine feelings for you. He seemed happy and she couldn't deny him that, despite everything that he's done and what happened between them.

So when Marc presented the divorce papers, she signed them.

They said their final good-byes and wished each other well.

After that, Marc immediately brought the papers to the L/N Family lawyer to set everything in motion. Then he had meetings for the rest of the day all around the city.

Body tense and craving the numbness alcohol can provide, Marc steps into the office, heading straight for the bar cart.

You switch on the desk lamp at the desk, causing Marc to jump.

"Fuck, Y/N! The hell you still doing up?"

You scoff, twirling your father's letter opener in your hands, “I think there’s some important things we have to discuss, Marc.”

He sighs as he pours amber liquid into a glass, “I agree, but it should wa-” his words are cut off as the letter opener flies at him, landing into the wall beside his head.

He looks at you with wide eyes, "The fuck do you think you're doing?!"

"No, Marc, what the fuck do you think you're doing?! You keep hiding things from me! What else are you hiding from me, Spector? Huh?" You stand from your father's desk, slowly stalking to your fiancé, "First you don't tell me about the arranged marriage my dad planned, then about your DID. You don't warn me about my dad's suicide plan. And now you don't tell me how you're still married?"

Marc gulps down the liquid and places the glass onto the bar cart, "I was planning on telling you-"

"When?! After we got married?!"

"No! Before that, I swear I planned to, but there's so much shit going on! I didn't want to stress you out because you're going through a lot!"

"Doesn't matter! I still had the right to know!"

"I know! And it's whatever now. She signed the divorce papers, I brought them to the family lawyer. They're being filed as we speak and it should be finalized by the time we get married. " He sighs again, running a hand through his hair and glancing at the letter opener lodged into the wall.

He looks back at you, "Listen, from now on, I promise, no more secrets." You scoff and roll your eyes, but he continues, "I'm serious, Y/N, no more secrets. This was my burden to bare and I handled it. Whatever happens now, we'll handle it together. I'll tell you everything that went down today if it makes you feel any better."

"You make me so angry sometimes," you say through gritted teeth.

"I know," he replies as he slowly closes the distance between you.

"Sometimes you make me want to scream."

"You always can. I won't judge," he says sincerely as he stands before you, hand hovering over your closed fist at your side.

"I really want to punch you," you mumble as you look at him.

"Do it," he says in a serious tone, "I've kept you in the dark for a lot of things, but I won't anymore. I'll let you do whatever you want. If you don't want anything to do with this business, fine. If you decide you want to partake in it, I'll let you. You have control here, Y/N," he slowly grabs hold of your wrist. He unravels your fist and guides your hand to his chest, "I let you in, Sunshine. I wanna give you my heart. It's up to you what you do to it."

You stand there speechless. For the first time, you don't know how to respond. Something in Marc's words stirs something in you. A fire in the pit of your stomach comes alive and begins to burn inside you.

Not knowing what else to do, you grip his shirt with the hand that rests on his chest. You pull him close and press your lips to his in a heated kiss. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, one hand gripping onto his hair.

Marc's hands go to your waist, pulling you even closer to him. You feel the heat of his body against yours as he kisses you back. His mouth moves against yours and you're so distracted by the taste of him you don't even realize he was walking you towards your father's desk.

He lifts you and places you onto the desktop with ease and he pulls back to look at you.

There's a haze over his eyes, his lips are slightly puffy from kissing you. His hair is disheveled from when you were gripping it.

"Do you want this?" he asks in a low whisper, his fingers grazing along the hem of your shirt.

You nod, "Yes. Fuck, Marc, fuck me."

He doesn't hesitate to pull your shirt off you in an instant, then working on your pants.

You never thought your first time with Marc would be in your father's office on his old desk. But fuck it, it's the heat of the moment. You're just hoping your dad isn't watching you about to get fucked in his office from above.

You're naked as the day you were born, laid out on the wooden desk. The cool surface a complete contrast to your body that feels like it's on fire.

"Need to get you ready," Marc murmurs as he drops to his knees, pulling your legs to rest on his shoulders, "Been dreaming about this pussy," he mumbles in between your thighs.

He licks a stripe up your slit and it causes your breath to hitch. Honestly, you could feel yourself getting wetter by the second.

He spreads your lips apart, delving in with a careful taste. He hums and smiles up at you, "Sweet, just like I imagined."

You whine in desperation, "Marc-"

"I know, baby. I know. Already desperate for me, aren't ya?" His thumb reached up and draws slow careful circles around your clit. The bud already hardening underneath the pressure.

You hiss out a "Fuck!" Your jaw goes slack when you feel his mouth on your again. His tongue collecting your slick, devouring you like a starved man. Your fingers weave through his locks, gripping tight, and keeping him place.

You grind up into his face and eyes staring into yours as you use his face for pleasure.

You see the lust in his eyes, the hunger and desire for you. Fuck, that look alone could make you cum.

Speaking of which, you let out a moan as you grind harder against his mouth, "Shit. I'm close," you say and it makes Marc immediately pull away.

"What-"

"Shush. The first time you cum is on my cock," he says as he immediately unzips his pants, pushing them and his underwear down enough to free his dick.

He grips himself at the base, the tip just hovering over your entrance, "This still okay?"

You roll your eyes and wrap your legs around him, "Shut up and fuck me, Spector."

Marc smirks and teases your entrance with his top. He coats himself in your slick and then slowly enters you.

Your head drops onto the desktop as he fills you, "Goddamn you feel good."

He gives an experimental thrust into you and then smirks when you moan in pleasure. He then grips you by the back of the neck and pulls you to sit up. He holds you close to him as he fucks into you.

With each snap of his hips, the desk beneath you shakes and creaks. A few of the knick knacks tip over, some pens roll onto the floor. Neither of you care in the moment, obviously, too lost in the lust.

"Harder, Marc. Please. I want it." you beg him with pleading, lust filled eyes.

"You want me to fuck you harder?" he asks in panting breaths.

You nod, "Make me forget. I don't want to think about anything else but you."

"Fuck, keep talking like that, it's gonna be over a lot sooner," he groans, thrusting into your faster and harder.

You chuckle and press your lips to his. He happily kisses you back as he fucks into you. One hand holds onto your thigh while the other is in-between you two, working your clit.

You pull away for air, your lips grazing against his. In short breaths, you murmur out, "I'm sorry I was a bitch."

He chuckles while he continues to fuck you, "It's okay. I deserve it."

"Did you really mean it? You'll give me control whenever I want it?"

He nods, "Whatever you want, Sunshine. I just want you to be happy." He leaves you speechless again, but it's fine, especially since you feel that winding in your stomach grow tighter and tighter.

"I'm close."

"Give it to me, baby. Lemme feel you. I got you, baby."

He fucks into your harder, deeper. You're sure the desk will break any moment now by how hard Marc's fucking you.

"Fuuuu-mmf!" Marc swallows your cries with a kiss. He feels the fluttering of your pussy around him and he feels in absolute bliss.

"Shit," he groans, and pulls out, jerking himself off just above your pussy. He enters you again and gives you a few more thrusts before pulling out and cumming right onto you.

He's a sweaty, panting mess and you're sure you look the same. As he catches his breath, he reaches onto the desk at the tissue box. He takes a few and wipes up the mess he left on you as well as your own mess. He then wipes himself off, tossing the remnants into the bin beside the desk. You sit up with a groan, rolling your neck and shoulders.

You sigh and look up to the ceiling, "Sorry, dad."

Marc snorts and helps you off the desk. He catches you when you lose your footing, a smirk on his face.

You roll your eyes, "Don't even."

"Didn't even say anything."

You sigh, gathering your strewn out clothes, "Let's shower and go to bed."

"Yes, ma'am," Marc murmurs, wrapping an arm around you and guiding you out of the office.

"We still need to talk more, you know," you say as you both climb the stairs.

He lowly chuckles, "In the morning. We'll talk. Promise," he pauses to kiss your head and then continues to guide you to, now, your shared bedroom.

[vvachillessongvv]

2024 Fandom review

💜

When I was in third grade, I wrote a short story about a girl who had been shrunken down to the size of a grape and had to find a way to grow back to her regular size. My teacher wrote a note on that story that said I should be a writer when I grow up- I held onto that even though all my adults told me writing wasn't a good career choice. I guess they never thought about the alternative, which is writing fluff and smut for free on godless AO3 😂 I can't explain how much every single comment means to me, the little community we have here, it is truly such a wonderful space and I feel like I gained so much in 2024 just by being a part of it. Thank you for being here and reading my words. I started reading and writing Young Royals fic in 2024, so it was a truly magical year.

Fics written:

First fic posted in 2024: Popcorn 2024-06-02

Something that popped into my head, and made me think "Yeah, I could probably write a Wilmon fic" 😂 it's sweet and sort of silly and it means a lot just because it's my og baby.

Last fic posted in 2024: stay with me

2024-12-31

Filthy smut with a bit of feelings, because it's Wilmon 😏💜

Fav fic I've written: Siren

This one is just everything to me. I loved being creative with it, I loved collaborating with people, I loved the slight switch in writing style to fit the time period, it is a true ode to my love of writing and Wilmon combined. Bonus, it introduced me to someone who is now a truly important part of my life.

Fic recs will be after the page break 💜💜💜

Fics read:

Who knows how many- my bookmarks are sitting at 150, but I'd say probably closer to 400-500. There's genuinely no telling 😅

First fic I bookmarked/read: I was on ao3 as a guest for a hot minute, so the first Wilmon fic I read was Fuck the Monarchy by @iwouldnevergetintofanfic (a truly beautiful place to start!) but the first fic I bookmarked on my profile is Almost Is Never Enough by This_time_its_just_me on ao3

Last fic I read: I'm assuming this means the last fic I read in 2024, which would be Now we're falling like snow by @skibasyndrome I absolutely adore his fics, and this one was no different.

Some favorites I've read this year:

You are Unbreaking by @unfortunate17

This is absolutely beautiful, the premise is amazing and just so different while still capturing that amazing Wilmon magic.

Doesn't everyone belong in the arms of the sacred by @alltoowille

This one meant so much to me I was messaging the author from my personal Tumblr to tell them how much it meant to me, before I'd even created my sideblog or ao3 account 😅 it's beautiful and genuinely changed the way I look at religion

Is it over now? by @iwouldnevergetintofanfic

This one is so visceral, it still has an impact on how I write wilmon, and I will probably cry every single time I go back to it

i don't feel like our love it brand new @prince-simon

This fic lives in my heart indefinitely. Prince Simon is absolutely everything to me. Not to be dramatic, but this changed my life a little.

always on the tip of my tongue by @royalwilmon

This is basically what I'm trying to emulate any time I write smut. The way their intimacy is written in this smut is pure magic, the original characters have made a home in my heart and mind, and it's just one of my favorite Wilmon fics of all time

do you think you'd like me more if i was less like you by @toffeelemon

This fic meant the world to me on my genderqueer journey, in fact I'm rereading it just for the amazing gender feels.

Align by Ripki on ao3

Some of the most gorgeous writing I've ever come across. Every chapter touches me and blows me away all at once, and makes me want to write my own beautiful words

Hungry by @earlgrey-lateatnight

I have 2 vampire Simon docs and it's all this fics fault 😂 it's so hot, intimate, and written so wonderfully

now we're knee-deep in this mess by aqua_rius on ao3

This one broke me and put me back together. I had to pause reading multiple times because their pain and longing hit me so hard. It's incredible.

Love drunk and we're never sober by @caramelpenguin

This is so lovely and written so beautifully. It made a little home in my heart and I now think about it when I'm writing anything close to friends to lovers.

To hold (in return) @saynomorefic

I'm telling you, I think about this fic unbidden at least once a week. It is so soft and wonder.

and if my heart should somehow stop by @grapehyasynth

Such a unique premise, the longing and love is so palpable, and of course, the writing is just perfectly beautiful

Baby I know how to use a gun by @saynomorefic

Another AU that lives in my head rent free. Completely amazing, I'd read 200,000 words of just them.

futile devices @jordensgolde

The writing is immaculate, the premise is different and so incredibly Wilmon. The beauty of these words truly inspires me.

one hundred and seventeen @prince-simon

Dare I say this one trans'ed my gender? I read this and suddenly had words for how I felt about myself. I still cry every time I read it. Genderfluid Simon has a special place in my heart, and it's just written so beautifully. Love entirely.

Say a prayer for me in the dark by witchjeons on ao3

This made me want to write poetry again, which I did for one of my fics, and I've continued to do so just for myself. It is utterly beautiful, and I sob each time I read it.

I hate accidents except when we go from friends to this by @cloudywilmon

This is my ultimate feel-good/fully dissociate from reality fic. It is hot, and funny, and ridiculous in all the most perfect ways. When I'm having the shittiest day imaginable, there's these boys having sex and pretending it means absolutely nothing.

Outlines of You by @enjoythesilentworld

Genuinely some of the most beautiful smut I've ever read

Knowing what it feels like by strawberryxcreqm on ao3

This is another fic that just lives in my head, and I can't listen to Mazzy Star without thinking about it.

for the tree's sake by @enjoythesilentworld

This is one of my favorite dynamics. I absolutely adore poetic Wille, it is so soft and sweet and captures them so perfectly

Final reflections:

Thank you to everyone who participates in this fandom in any way. Lurkers, commenters, people making art, gifs, sharing those amazing scene/character analysis'. And of course each and every fic writer, you who have inspired me to find writing again. This is such a beautiful little corner of the internet that I can't wait to spend another year in. Thank you 💜💜💜 feel free to come yell at me or just say hi in my inbox or ask box. I'm shy but I promise I'm always up for talking about Wilmon 🥰

[haveihitanerve]

Priscillas Final Petal Commentary because one of you lovely children requested i do more of my comments and this was the first video i came across anyway-

(ok i came back afterwards and like good gods its a lot so umm, yeah if you dont care, dont click more bc its a lot to scroll past otherwise)

Luke giggling from the get go at Tom struggling to understand the word Petal

Tom getting the audience to agree the title is pretty good- meanwhile AJ and Luke making eye contact like 👀 you gonna be Priscilla or??? And then AJ nodding. So im pretty sure Luke was just like “you're gonna be her” 

Luke zoning in to Tom’s speech to give a laugh and then immediately moving on to contemplate- meanwhile sam has been dissociating for like a few minutes already- looking to the cosmos for inspiration

All three background boys immediately tensing up when tom says applause bc the scene is starting- are they about to battle over who gets to be Priscilla???? We shall see…

Oh Sam made it there first but AJ was crawling so he's obvi the young girl- and Luke lost he has to stay seated :(

Tom’s little half chuckle at AJ’s “mummy” a split second before it registers with Luke that Sam is, in fact, not AJ’s mummy and cackling

AJ needing to physically touch Sam to be like “that's my bad dude” while grinning

Aj’s weird laugh at “just as cute as you” and then not letting the mummy thing drop bc ofc not why would he XD

“Wide girlish hips” Sam building himself to be the mother lovely lovely pre-planning

“Its a buttercup” beat of surprise because wow Sam didn't expect AJ to know a flower type

Luke’s neck stretch when Sam says “they’re magical” like oh really sam, are they?

“No could you tell… me” idk why he stuttered over that but very interesting and it got a luke laugh and AJ smile so no complaints

Aj complicating things as always, love our confused king

“....” AJ contemplating how he’s about to say this while still being a child.. “.... its magic” Luke and Tom losing it quietly in the background

The way Tom and Luke genuinely look when he holds up the NONEXISTENT FAKE FLOWER TO SEE IF SAM LIKES BUTTER

Also idk if it was intentional or not- but if Sam really is lactose intolerant, AJ just casually knows that he doesn't like butter and actually incorporated it in which is really cute actually- anyway-

“Or a- sandwich!” yes brilliant counter Aj, no one butters a sandwich-genius!

“I spent a lot of time making sure this garden looks lovely” as much as I appreciate the thought sam- hes already picked the flower. Its dead. it doesn't matter what AJ does to it now- its important to the plot moving on..

Aj once again trying to think of something clever to say- “why are you being weird?” nailed it!

“Ey-ey priscilla” yes tom, thats exactly how a mother speaks to her child in this- idk victorian era 

“Is that my mummy this time?” just checking for the scene

Sam once again pointing out story flaws rapid quick- “no time for flowers” “why do you have me?” Luke laughing at it as always- also Tom i saw the flower movement- good stagecraft

Tom contemplating murder. “Because we don't have time.” 

“Not anymore” very nice setting the tone for a plot i can feel it…

“Not.     anymore.” yes it was necessary a second time… 

Those english degrees coming in clutch “ivories tinkling” 

AJ loves being a child character because it means he can ask questions to stuff he doesn't know in the scene lol

“When you get an elephant.” brilliant way to speak to a child again Tom, 10/10 mother

“And when you kill it reaaaallly good.” brilliant- got Luke to clap laugh, lovely

Sam working on stagecraft, good good

“Awww. No.” 

“Can i take this?” “My pen?” for once its not AJ’s fault that the story breaks for a second! victory!

“Her stagecraft is remarkably weak.” oooohhhh shots fired

Tom tensing up like he’s about to jump back into the scene at that second to restore his honor

Yay luke made it into a scene!

Aj’s almost spit take- dude ur the main character you don't get breaks cmon!

Ok but seriously- they were all just going to sit there and watch luke sit in a chair on stage by himself and deliver a monologue or smth??? Like tom is completely at ease, hand propped on his leg watching him, sam is chilling, and aj is drinking- not one of them wanted to join/help him in the scene???? Anyway-

“Um.. da-du-de-” Luke cuts him off- Aj: oh thank god-

For a dude renowned for his lack of skill for remembering names he certainly picks very dangerous ones i gotta say

Luke attempting to make it easier for him. Helga

Luke's massive grin making Tom laugh- bc seriously what does that mean- “sense of familiarity with my students' with the creepiest smile??? Luke what-

“Four hours straight” gorgeous- we got a sam laugh

Why does luke look at the camera like he's in the office???

Luke is struggling to maintain the accent but its good, its good, you got this

“Perhaps selling her body” oooh were gonna have to rewind four times to see everyones reaction- number one- sam laughs loud in shock and surprise and then crosses his legs and covers his mouth- luke i sense a disciplinary meeting in your future- number two- AJ claps a hand over his mouth like a victorian widow learning shocking news(my personal fav of Aj’s laugh tendencies) number three- Tom actually laughs at that- mouth open in surprise, and we get a delightful little “oh wow” look/grin and number four- luke knows the words before they exit his mouth and he is enjoying it- recovers wildly quickly but that's our out of pocket king

“What’d you mean “selling her body”” oh now AJ is using his child question asking for evil hehehehe

And luke shutting it down.. Sigh

“Don't change my name.” oh AJ you were so close!!!

Tom’s mounting amusement as Luke says “jingle bells” 

“Sometimes when im sad I tear off a petal” Tom laughing at the audacity but also- aj- thats terrifying- tf- imagine a little girl looks at you, pulls a flower out of her pocket, and rips off a petal. Like god damn im having nightmares ok-

“WHY ARE YOU SAD HELGA!” um- his name is priscilla, ur helga, also- also terrifying thanks

“No- i-im having a really good time.” uhuh yeah. Me too :) *afraid*

Idk if AJ actually forgot or just wanted to be annoying but how do you forget jingle bells-

“Darling.” *shuffle shuffle* “hi :)” oh sam is afraid- that smile- tom is gonna get him back for the stagecraft comment now, i can feel it. Ohhh sam can too

“Such a shame we couldn't send her to boarding school the old fashioned way.” “..??” “paying for it.” thats actually brilliant- im stealing that for everyday use-

While Tom is speaking about Priscillas talent- AJ watching from the corner with his tongue in his cheek- just waiting for his musical talent to be insulted lol(also very attractive look gotta say-)

“Earl of saxony.” idk why this made luke laugh but its such a delight to see him slowly spiral into heavier laughter

Also- he snaps out of it so fast- immediately joins the scene- brilliant

AJ amused because Luke’s getting yelled at and not him

Poor luke cant even sit down because theyd still come after him lmaoo

“I hope your kid dies of tuberculosis” damn! Again, stealing that

The really awkward Tom reach forward to put his hand on Sam’s shoulder kills me every time. Especially because his arm flexes like a beat before he does it- should i, should i not- before going for it lol

“Garden.” oh rumpled has some feelings he’d like resolved…

“We used to go through strolls…” “we did used to go through strolls, i cant go through any more of them.” This entire scene kills me so much i adore it yes Tom, preach. Sam always gives everyone else so much shit- uno reverse baby!!! XD

Luke and AJ loosing their minds is also my life blood

Sam confused as to how its wrong- but wants to correct “You didn't let me finish.” 

Tom put his entire cunt into that leg cross and perch of his fingers against his chin, slay king

“We used to go through strolls through the orchard.” Oh- now tom seizes the opportunity to do some stage craft just to add extra salt on the wound-

Tom’s disappointed head shake as Luke and AJ explode with laughter is my everything

Sam’s angry rant of “is that not correct?? No- no- no- because you've got two english degrees” idk but the fact that he just knows that so quickly is everything to me

AJ and Tom are enjoying this far too much- both arching forward to listen because they're little shits :)

“It is both incorrect and Im busy on my stagecraft right now so-” (ok to anyone who is just as confused as sam- the correct terminology would be “we used to go for strolls” not through or “we went on strolls” etc etc)

“Darling borrow my newspaper.” Oooh sam I see you- trying to mess with Tom’s stagecraft make him seem like its so poor he’s “reading newspaper” when hes clearing eating… smth, idk but very clever, very clever

Also- pointing it out- firstly its probably because they know the other person would never let it go- but secondly, they're so dedicated and such good actors to their craft that Sam literally reaches over and removes the nonexistent newspaper off the nonexistent food- idk it just makes me happy. Also they do it so well

‘WHOS STAGECRAFT IS WEAK NOW DARLI-” yes tom, get your revenge lol

“...doesn't it?” oh yes sam, create a new plot point and then require Tom to expand upon it and create the actual story. Brilliant thinking and a dick move but its so funny

Shit eating grin the whole time too

“It. does.” tom said calmly

“Why are you laughing at me now, i cant fire you.” lol tom never change

Ok Tom didn't like Sam’s interruption so now he's changing the plot and making it a horror story- we love, we love

Aj’s hand covering mouth laughter again, love it sm

“That should be quite obvious. The fact that were having to discuss it at all is inane and foolish” ok so tom is still not over the stagecraft comment- got it

Luke's laughter from backstage- still not sitting down because hes afraid

“This is the prettiest i ever saw her.” SAM HES STILL MAD ABOUT STAGECRAFT NO- “WOW.” aaand there it is. ofc tom is now an ally of the dead wife just to spite sam lmaooo

“A girl like me-” AJ’s hand laugh again <333

“Selling your body.” smooth tom, smooth

“No more violence” veryyy smooth sam

“That bitch.” he had to- also, Tom, where’d the cigarette come from- when’d you light it- stagecraft people!!!

“I lit this cigarette on a candle.” ah- there it is “what wonderful stagecraft-” and AJ ends it because otherwise they’d keep it up forever i just know. Entertaining- but not very helpful to the story sadly lol

Luke pointing out the flaws, “which is a region in germany, despite half the workforce being english and the other german” slay king slay

Excellent stagecraft AJ, 10/10 of opening the window

Excellent voice acting, all around- Sam’s… owl hooting thats the one, perfect- and Tom’s really creepy “come to the garden” is top notch- so thats why he was so insulted on… Annabelle's behalf- he is her

“Buttercup im a little bit scared” why is he talking to the flower now- this wasn't in the trailer-

“But ill use you to- *breaks* shine a light- *laughs* so i can see*grinning*” everyone breaks and its beautiful

Wholly shit- AJ understanding immediately and perfectly that Sam standing up and going “fwoosh” was him pretending to be the owl and not being confused like “tf are you doing” is such good subtle accuracy and just shows how long they’ve been together and- i need to calm down 

“Strange mound by a tree” subtle aj, very subtle

Oh!- oh!- oh, nope Luke, sorry, Tom beat you to it again. Damn. now he gets to be the dead wife- not you. (as much as you want to be sam’s lover- who said that?)

Pointing the flower like its a glock… very nice stagecraft aj, wonderfully done

“I cant see, I don't have my buttercup with me” brilliant work luke, smashing really- call back and humor, all in one five stars 👏

AJ being taller than sam- randomly standing now also, instead of kneeling like before, Priscilla had a random growth spurt- anyway- and not making a single effort to even pretend be shorter for the crying scene gives me life

AJ DOING BETTER MATH THAN SAM!!! YAY!!!

“Why are you speaking in the third person?” good recovery sam, now the attentions back on AJ

“What will really happen?” “you'll become lactose intolerant.” AJ side eyeing Tom, currently sitting with the audience like, “you sure? Thats all thatll happen?” 

Whoever was sitting in the audience and did a dramatic inhale when Sam went “and you'll break the c-” i love you

“You were going to say break the curse.” AJ's so proud he managed to piece that one together

“No thats not- no!” AJ let himself come out a lil- sweety, baby, you're supposed to be a three foot tall little girl, not a six foot tall man, he is towering over Sam, thats not how Priscilla works- moving on

“Y'know before i was a groundskeeper here…” “oh boy.” yeah aj, you regret tempting him now

Assassin was the last thing on my bingo card of things i thought sam would say but ok

“I feel like this is above my paygrade.” so now luke is trying to weasel out of a scene instead of into it… hmmm

“Im part of the yorkshire reserves.” idk what kinda inside joke this is, but it took luke out, dude literally did a disappointed tom dad head shake and covered his whole face with only one hand, goodness sam

“You say ‘would you like a nice cup o’ tea?’... and then you stab ‘em.” Sam i love you, never change

“When i went over to that buttercup… nest.” Ig AJ doesn't know the name for flowerbed but okay(even tho im pretty sure he said it earlier but wtv) Luke’s laugh literally gave me chills, firstly it was delayed, secondly its the deepest its ever been and just like-wow

“I have a real mum!” “no!... no.. no.” so i guess everyone is taking their cues from Tom and repeating things more than once to highlight the importance. Also Aj barely holding back a smile is so cute- especially since Sam can smile at him bc hes not facing the audience

And luke loosing his mind to laughter again, always a classic

“Uh i went scottish there-” just amusing to me

“But luckily im also a wizard.” very very very smooth sailing sam, classically done, nice way to round out the story

Luke loosing his mind, AJ almost breaking on stage, and we cant see Tom but im pretty sure hes losing it as well

“Magic!” I just adore every time AJ says magic in his little girl voice, its so precious

“Leave it. Or I’ll bleed you.” well thats a threat if i've ever heard one oh my gods- AJ looks terrified

“I will protect you with the best stagecraft you've ever seen.” Ahh good ol tom with the one liners who breaks everybody

(sam and aj leaning against each other with their laugh ahdtbdjhfgtgewbsdc- too cute<33)

“Don't bitch out on me” -luke moved too fast, AJ broke before he was sitting back down XD

“What are you sinking about?” ok idk if Luke knows or not, but thats a common german meme, im not gonna write it all down rn but no one laughed so im assuming he doesn't know, anyway made me chuckle, moving on

Sam losing his mind at “i called you helga” as he should

TOM HOPPING ON STAGE FROM WHERE HES SITTING IN THE AUDIENCE TO JOIN THE SHOW- i cant with this man seriously XD

“With you two bvitches!” you tell 'em Aj(also yes the v is intentional, he said with with pizzazz and thats what the v adds)

“I don't like music it sounds the same!” as a person who pursues music- y'know what ill let it lie nvmind

“You always make me playing fffff-fucking jingle bells” y'know what its understandable now, carry on,

“Whos annabelle.” ok screw this audience- no one gasped dramatically or ooohhhhed- HE JUST REVEALED A MAJOR PLOT POINT GUYS SHOW SOME EMOTION- i need to calm down

Ok Tom chuckled in the audience and its redemption enough for me- he even moved his shoulders with laughter- ok im back in it

Sam’s forced smile at “rumple told me” is so iconic he did that so well omg-

“GET PLUCKING!” might be the scariest thing i've ever heard- but it was accompanied by a lovely luke laugh so its balanced

“She was not… well.” “OH. WOW” tom can be offended on his own behalf this time

“She was cruel, she was cold… and her stagecraft was terrible.” YES SAM- SNAP SNAP- SLAY DIVA YESSSS

Also everyone breaking on stage is lovely, always love the shared laughs

“I will accept two of those three criticisms.” how gracious tom

Complaining about past skits/productions, sam is just airing out all his grievances i love them so much omg-

Luke literally folding from laughter

“Well if you bury all your women..” Sam’s hand snapped up so fast. “One. I've only buried one.” ☝️

AJ SINGING!!! YESSSS

The utter chaos in this scene is the best thing in the world, all four of them on stage at once is always a treat

… is tom sucking Luke’s soul out of his body through his face using his hand? I have so many questions...

…why did it make him snap his own neck????

Why are they harmonizing?!?!?!

Sam literally she hates you because you always insult her stagecraft and when she digs her way out of hell the first thing you do is insult her stagecraft??? I mean, it is, admittedly, confusing stagecraft… but THATS NOT THE POINT!

“Oh i don't like this at all!” nor do i sam… nor do i… *the writer is horrified… and very amused*

THEY KILLED SAM?!?!?!?!?!?! 

Also AJ casually successfully mouthing every word Tom says is insane skill and very well done

“Mummy…” ok.. And aj takes the most terrifying person crown again…

“Piano lesson.” yeah im sensing a lot of pent up anger…

"Plinky plonky. Every day.” sounds like a legitimate reason, but if she thinks plinky plonky is the sound a piano makes then i understand why shes in lessons-

Also- aj successfully made tom crack a smile on stage, well done

Also aj- made eye contact with luke off stage and made him fold again

“You look different.” Ok but Tom’s hand raised and like, little crimp is so totally a mom move his stagecraft is excellent-

“Have you had your-*stutters* first period?” now thats class A humor, and im so glad it broke aj and sam

AND IT MADE LUKE DO DISAPPOINTED DAD HEAD SHAKE AND HAND OVER FACE. good work tom

“Is it a light, medium or heavy flow?” y'know what im so fucking glad he knows what those all are, and i know the others do too, love them all truly

Tom having to run back and forth as both mothers… ahhhh i love when they play two interacting characters its so funny

“Get out of my daughter” careful word choice tom… yep- sams exploding with laughter, luke is dying, and even AJ is blinking at you in concern(tbf tom immediately regretted it, but it was worth the laughs)

“Mummy help!” “can you clarify which one you're talking to?” Tom never change, i love you. “Im talking to my mummy!” im assuming he means the one thats not possessing him, and honestly thats so cute, aj knows what the people want, and the people want priscilla to love her adopted/found family?? Mother- anyway keep watching to see..

… what is it with them breaking Tom’s fingers??? 

… did sam just “rumple” charge his wand by like..  Loading it like a shotgun??? stagecraft…

Oh ok they're two separate things…

The slow mo i adore these idiots omg-

“You're only making our bond stronger-” before he even finished AJ is pulling closer again, damn to have that instinctual friendship is insane

AJ SINGING!!!!

“Shut the fuck up” aj hes trying to further the plot- shhhh

Quick thinking Luke- Priscilla, Queen of the Dessert, real song, totally real, good good great, you could've said literally anything else, but ok

Tom switching to the adoptive mother because thats the one who really knows her is honestly so sweet- my heart

Sam getting to shoot Tom is always great. Working out their anger in a calm, reasonable manner

“Wow.” tom is really milking these wows huh

“I mean she did raise you.” Tom just cause he doesn't know the word “biological mother” doesn't mean- y'know what whatever- Aj i understand what you mean- you're a good daughter !

“No don't fuck with me like that okay?” yes aj! Fight back(casually drops the girl voice to become AJ to actually yell at Tom, ugh i love him)

“Ill be seeing you… ill be seeing youuuu” again with the repetitions goodness

“Byebye.” damn it tom he almost made it without breaking!

“AND SCENE!” From both Sam and Luke. perfect ending. 

Tom finally rejoining the stage and exiting the audience

Anyway thats all, thanks for reading this entire like book worth of comments, lots to say and lots of it is meaningless but anyway hope it added a dash more humor to their brilliance and yeah… my thoughts 🙂

@dawn-speckled you said you wanted my thoughts and damn do i have a lot of them lol, anyway hope it brought you some joy:)

[himluv]

I agree with you on the Solavellan ending. I love the angst and tragedy and I'm eating the idea of Solas and Lavellan having a lot to unpack once in the fade. Dramatic confrontations, tears, breakdowns and a slow road to forgiveness,. Delicious food. But I'm really annoyed with a portion of the fandom that seems to just gloss over the fact that Solas killed Varric, someone who was always kind to Lavellan and was even her friend. And even if you don't like Varric personally he is in canon a relatively decent person who tried to reach out to Solas on a compassionate level. Then he used a blood magic puppet of him to manipulate Rook... IDK the way that seems to mean little to nothing to a lot of Solavellans kind of bothers me. I'm not here to tell anyone how they can or can't play but the takes have been so bad. The infantilization, excuses and woobification of our boy are so egregious. Solas is complex and morally gray. Why would we be going through the effort of redeeming him if he wasn't doing things that would require redemption in the first place? I've felt really disconnected from the rest of the fandom because of all of the softening of his character people have been doing and it's refreshing to hear a take from someone who loves Solas but doesn't want to defang him.

Thanks for this thoughtful reply to this post! Sorry this took awhile, but I've been thinking of what I wanted to say. Long and spoiler-riddled reply below, and I don't even know how relevant it is to your reply, Nonny. Sorry!

I think A Lot of folks have spent the last 10 years rotating him in their heads like one throws a clay pot, molding him into something he could be based on what we knew about him. But, we didn't necessarily account for the other forms he could take. And some folks are very resistant to who he's canonically become by Veilguard. Because it's not a good form, he got Worse™ in his decade away from friends and love (shocker!), and it's hard to reconcile this version of him with the ones we may have made.

I get all of that. But I also LOVE that. It means he could still surprise me, and I got to experience this weird duality of love/hate I didn't expect to feel toward him. I got to see his lies in real time, know he was lying because I KNOW HIM, and go, "oh, you little shit (affectionate)". Like, that's just FUN! Which, last time I checked was in fact the point of video games.

I love that he is unpredictable and dangerous in this game. That we finally see him go all out, and use every skill and trick he has. That is THRILLING, especially because he's more dangerous and lethal and ruthless than I personally expected. Which... Is my fault. I should have expected it, because look what he did to Felassan. Look how he so easily killed all those Qunari in Trespasser. Look what he did with those spirits of chaos and disruption. Look what he did to the Titans! I should have known better, the games and books showed me time and again what he was capable of. I just didn't want to believe it.

I've seen some posts talking about how Lavellan approaches Solas at the very last confrontation. How carefully she goes up the stairs towards him. I've seen several interpretations of it, but there's one I haven't seen (which could be because I'm not hanging out in the Solavellan tag much these days).

She takes those stairs slowly, as if approaching a spooked horse, because the last time someone climbed a set of stairs to talk him down from his ritual, he killed them. And I don't think for one second Lavellan believes, if she handles this poorly, he won't do the same to her.

And I think she is 100% right. He would, perhaps on "accident" as he claims to Neve was the case with Varric (debatable - seemed pretty intentional if maybe a bit impulsive from here). But I firmly believe there is a world where Solas would stab his vhenan if he had to and certain conditions hadn't been met (and yes that would utterly destroy him).

She walks up those stairs to him, her vhenan, knowing this is it. Their final stand. She will save him from himself, whatever it takes, and she is prepared to die at his hands if it comes to that. And it so easily COULD HAVE.

I don't know. I just think that Veilguard gave us SO MUCH more insight into Solas and there's so much there to chew on. I think we're going to be able to go back through all the games and codices and so many little details are going to fit together and complete a puzzle we didn't even know we were making.

After all of this, I still have so much to think on 😂. I'm going to be living in Thedas for another decade at this rate!

Good. I don't ever want to leave.

[jackwolfes]

ooh i'd be interested in show!wesper and “You fucking lied to me and wasted my time, yet you have the audacity to cry about it and make it seem like it’s my fault things ended badly?”

oh I had FUN working this one out 👀

Their bedroom door swings shut with a thud just heavier than the silence it breaks. Jesper perches against their dresser, crossing his arms over his chest. Wylan refuses to look at him.

“So.”

Silently, Wylan peeks up at him. The ruddy flush that first started burning when Kaz spilled his little secret still lingers on his cheeks.

“I don't want to talk about it, Jesper.”

“What is there to talk about?”

Wylan's brow pinches. “Jesper…”

Jesper puts his hand on the dresser, fingers drumming over the wood. There's a knot at the centre of his chest, and whatever is hiding inside it feels ugly.

“I'm just saying, what's the point in talking to each other when I can just wait for Kaz to drop a bombshell bit of news about my own boyfriend?”

“I'm sorry, but—”

“Some things are better coming from Kaz fucking Brekker?”

Sharply, Wylan exhales. “Can you stop being so difficult about this, please?”

“Hey, you're the one who's been lying to me, merchling.”

Although Wylan doesn't acknowledge the derivative nickname verbally, Jesper sees the way it rankles him. “I didn't lie,” Wylan insists. “You never asked.”

“Yeah, well, is your father the richest man in Ketterdam isn't usually my go to method for picking up a one night stand.”

A hurt look dances across Wylan's face, and too late Jesper realises what he said. A one night stand. As if a man so brilliant can be reduced to something so paltry. He wavers.

“Wylan—”

“No, you're right. I wasted your time.” Wylan turns around again, digging through the mess their life has grown into in search of his things. He's already grabbed his rucksack, heaving it onto the bed like he means to take everything when he leaves.

Jesper's lungs squeeze, equal parts panic and an itch to run to a dice table. Only one thing has soothed that itch better than a gamble, and the distance between them grows like a wildfire.

“So, what, you're just going to run away from me like you ran away from your cushy life and your father?”

Wylan turns, chin raised and a petulant frown on his perfect lips. “The reason I left my father's home is not your concern.”

“Then what is, Wylan? I thought we had a good thing going—”

“And you don't think that'll change now that you know I'm a useless Geldstraat brat? I'm damaged goods, Jesper. That's why I left.”

Wylan tracks his gaze up and down Jesper’s frame, then shakes his head as if to clear a bad thought. Lifting his rucksack over his shoulder, he hunches into himself. It's obvious, the way he tries so hard to make himself small, and upsetting that he's so damn good at it.

“It doesn't matter,” he mutters, making for the door. “You'll figure it out for yourself soon enough and won't want me around once you do, so maybe it's better that I leave now.”

“Don't make it my fault that you're choosing to leave,” Jesper bites out. “You're running.”

“Maybe you just don't know when to walk away from a bad hand.”

Before he can stop himself Jesper shoots out a hand and grabs Wylan's wrist, grip tightening around the frail bone. Sharply, the boy inhales. Jesper feels the air dance between their faces; Wylan’s breath on his chin.

“You aren't a bad hand, Wylan. Believe it or not, you're the best damn thing that's ever happened to me.”

Jesper's voice is low, rippling with a thousand unsaid promises he'd been too scared to admit to before this very second. He's still scared, honestly, but more scared about a world where Wylan isn't here.

It was always too good to be true, what they had, but Jesper's a greedy, delusional fool and he wants Wylan so fucking badly.

“I'm not going to cry about it and make it your fault when this ends badly,” Wylan whispers.

Jesper swallows. “You want this to end?”

Whatever guarded fear Wylan had in his eyes melts, slowly but surely. “Ghezen, no.”

Carefully, Jesper squeezes Wylan's wrist. Tension leeches out from the boy’s joints and, slowly, he leans his weight into Jesper's body. Unsure how he could ever stop himself, Jesper ducks his head and presses a gentle kiss to the top of Wylan's head.

“Stay, merchling. I want you to.”

Wylan's voice cracks. “For how long?”

And there's nothing to say to that, really, that would soothe the hurt etched deep into either of their bones, but that's the Barrel.

Jesper shrugs, smiles, and is entirely satisfied by the soft smile Wylan gives him in return. “Long enough to take you out for waffles, at least.”

Softly, Wylan laughs. He lets his rucksack slide to the floor, laces his hand in Jesper's, and follows him out the door.

They have waffles to eat.

[ravenclaws-stuff]

Kiss It Better

Relationship: James Potter x Original Female Character

Summary: Five times Lyra Black heals James Potter

Word count: 2,981

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One

I shake my head at the four boys who call themselves the Mauraders. "Do you really have to keep getting into fights with them?" I sigh, tying off the bandage on Remus's hand. He gives me a guilty smile. "It's not our fault." Sirius groans. I give my older brother a sharp glare. "Don't even get me started with you Sirius." He pales, knowing I was genuinely upset with him. I never call him by his full name.

"You should know better than to hex your own brother, no matter how ignorant he is." I stand in front of him and smile sadly. "Should've had Potter do it. At least, mother can't touch him." I touch my wand to his forehead, healing all the scratches. Sirius chuckles as James protests. I lean forward, placing a soft kiss on his forehead, just as I did, every time mum or dad "punished" Sirius.

I stand in front of James shaking my head. "Really James, I expect Sirius to be the most injured one out of you lot. Thought you were more skilled than that." James looks away, scratching the back of his head. "I couldn't help it. Snivelous was being a right git. You should have heard about what he was saying about Evans. Thought he was supposed to be her friend." 

I push the pang of jealousy away. Everyone in the castle knew my older brother's best friend was in love with Lily Evans. He would never look at me, a year young and a Slytherin. 

"Then you head so I can see the damage." A simple episkey should do the job for the broken nose. And his glasses would need fixing. I sigh and get to work. Sirius joked, causing the boys to laugh. I grab James's jaw, looking down at him. My heart quickens. Stupid bloody thing. 

"Stay still. There's a chance this might hurt." James stares up at me wit his big brown eyes. "Episkey." I whisper. 

I flinch at the crack as his nose went back together. I step back and smile. James reaches up, touching it. "There you go. Good as new. Does it hurt?" He smiles as Sirius sits down next to him in the desk.

"Hurt a bit but I heard a kiss would make it all better." James winks as a blush covers my face. Remus chuckles as Peter shakes his head. 

Sirius yelled smacking his chest. James looks at me, a grin on his face. "Prongs! That's my baby sister."

Two

"Ly!" I turn round to find Sirius racing down the hall towards Pandora and I. "Siri?" I share a look with Pandora. Why did Sirius look panicked? He stops in front of us, panting. "James needs you. Hurt." My heart stops as I stand up. My face pales. "Why doesn't he go to the Hospital Wing?" He shakes his head. "You know how James is." I turn to Pandora and apologize. She waves me off, ushering me to follow my brother. 

"Plus Madam Pomfrey threatened to bench him if he got hurt again." I roll my eyes as we head back down the hall. 

These boys and their bloody quidditch.

Sirius shoves me into an empty classroom, leaving me alone with the injured chaser. 

"James?" I say quietly, trying not to startle him. He looks up and smiles lazily. "Hey." 

I shake my head as I approach him. "What happened?" I reach out to place a hand on his arm. "Pretty sure a bludger broke my rib." My hand dropped to my side. A broken rib? Merlin. 

"You really should go see Madam Pomfrey." He shakes his head. "If I do, she won't let me play the next game. And then Jefferson will have my head. You know how he is about the game." He sighs,leaning forward. He lays his head against my shoulder. Acting on instinct, I run my fingers through his hair. Just like I do for Sirius and Regulus when they're upset. 

"I just don't want to let anyone down." He mumbles. My hand freezes in his dark curls. "Look at me, James." He reluctantly pulled away from me. I cup his cheek, obvious to the pink dusting his cheeks. 

"You could never disappoint any of us. Especially if your health is at risk." I smirk before grabbing my wand. "And if someone says otherwise, they can deal with me." James chuckles and then turns into a groan. "Don't make me laugh, Lyra."

"Take your shirt off so I can see the damage." I help him get the shirt off. He refuses to let me cut his jersey, even if it was his practice jersey. I carefully touch around the bruised area. "Tell me if it gets too much." He hisses as I touch the center. Definitely a broken rib. I walk across the room and dig through my bag. "Got it." I whisper as I pull out a bottle of Ske-Gro. 

"Do you really keep that in your bag?" I nod seriously as I pour him a drink

"Look at my brother's and his friends. I heal both of them regularly. Now drink." He grimaces before he drinks it. I can't blame him. From what I've heard, it taste worse than it smells. He drinks it quickly. I refill the glass with water, forcing him to drink it as well. 

"How does it look, Healer Black?" I giggle as my heart speeds up. Now that I knew the danger was gone, I couldn't help but focus on how close James was. I could feel the heat radiating off of him. 

"Well good news, you can still play quidditch." I smile and step back, needing to create distance between us. "And the bad news?" I sigh, hiding my smirk. I love watching James squirm. "You're not as pretty as everyone said." He gasps offended as I step back. "That's not true. I am very pretty." He freezes as he realizes what he just said. "Do you need anything else James?" I say packing up my bag.

"Well there is one thing." I hum as I make a mental note to refill my Ske-Gro. "You could kiss it better." He whispers behind, starting me. 

"That's not funny James. 

He looks at me seriously as he reaches out to play with a stray curl that escaped my bun. 

"Wasn't a joke, Ly."

Three

Swinging my legs, I sit on the desk rather impatiently. It was the same classroom I healed James a year ago. It became our spot somewhere along the way. Somewhere we could get away and talk, without having the scrutiny of my brothers watching. A place where I let my feelings grow unconditionally. A place where he tells me his secrets and I tell him my fears.

A series of three knocks pull me from my thoughts. I jump off the table, wand in hand. I open the door carefully. "Jamie." I sigh in relief. He smiles but hisses in pain.

"Oh Merlin, you're hurt." He sits down on the vacant desk. "Did he?" I couldn't finish the sentence. He shakes his head. 

"Just a scratch." I pull up his shirt carefully, trying to avoid hurting him anymore.

Just a scratch! That was halfway down his back. "James." I gasp, my hand hovering above his back. I feel James reach for me, trying to pull me in front of him.  I couldn't tear my eyes from his back. 

"Lyra, don't cry." I look up. Those beautiful brown eyes staring down at me with concern and maybe something else if I let my imagination run wild. "It's just a scratch, star. I will be alright." He presses a stray hair behind my ear. I nod, letting him calm my nerves. 

"Let me clean it. I don't want it to get infected." He nods, letting go of my arm. 

I quickly clean and wrap his torso with gauze before helping him put his shirt back on. I accio a pain relief potion from my bag, giving it to him. "Drink this before you go back to bed." I move to clean up after myself, but James pulls me into his arms. I melt into his hug, letting his presence calm my panicked mind. He is alright. He's not going to join Remus in wolfie time every month. 

"Lyra." I pull back to look at James. His eyes roam all around the room, avoiding me. He bites his lower lip, which he only does when he is nervous.

"Lyra Black." He takes a breath, his arms tightening around my waist. "I like you. Not like I am supposed to. Not as my friend or as my best mate's little sister. But as more. I fancy the pants out of you Lyra Black." My heart thundered in my chest as tears pricked my eyes. "You do?" I ask terrified he might change his mind.

He nods, fear etched on his face. I smile brightly."I fancy you as well James Potter."

His smile brightens the dull classroom. It could light the night sky. "Really?" I nod, giggling. I pull him into a tight hug, forgetting about the giant scratch of his back. I pull back as he hisses in pain. 

"I am so sorry. I totally forgot." 

He laughs, waving it off. "Trust me, nothing could ruin this moment. Not even Snape walking in here naked." I cringe and shake my head. "Please never say that again." I cup his cheek, smiling softly as he relaxed into my touch. "Do you need anything?" He thinks for a second before he smiles. "Actually yes, yes I do." 

I tilted my head, wondering what he needed. Probably sleep. Or food. 

"A kiss." His voice interrupted my thoughts. "A kiss to make it better."

I giggle as I lean up and kiss his cheek.

"There you go, one kiss to go. Now you need to go to bed." He rolls his eyes. "Whatever you say, Healer Black."

Four

"Lyra, come quick!" Pandora yelled down the hall. The panic look on her face made me quicken my pace. "What's wrong?" She looked down the hall where a crowd had gathered. "It's James and Regulus."

I pale as my heart stops. No. It can't be.

"Mate, cmon. It's not worth it." Sirius called behind James. He looked between his brother and best friend, concerned for both of them. "James!" I called out, causing both of the boys to look at me. Regulus frowned at the small smile that formed on James's face. Regulus snaps, and launches himself at James. I scream as I hold onto Pandora. Tears run down my face. Why can't I do anything? It's as if some used immobilus on me. 

Sirius finally having enough walks over and throws Regulus off of James. Remus starts ushering people away. "Fights over. Now leave before I start taking points away." Groans filled the hall as Regulus shoved Sirius away. Regulus glares at me. "You can't date him!" He huffs. I sniff as I wipe my face. "You think you can tell me what I can and cannot do. Hate to break it to you Reg, you can't." He stalks over to me, leaving us chest to chest. Behind my twin brother, I can see James being held back by his other friends. "I can't lose you to him too." He whispers sadly, all his anger deflated. 

When Sirius left home this past summer, it was Regulus that took it the hardest. The night Sirius escaped and ran to the Potters, he tried to bring both of us. Regulus was terrified that father and mother would find us. I refused to leave without my twin. 

I reach out and pull Regulus into a tight hug. "You won't. You could never lose me."

I pull back, forcing my brother to look me into my eyes. "Regulus Arcturus Black, you will never lose me. You are my best friend. My twin. But I will not let you force me to choose between two people I love." 

Regulus's eyes widen. "You love him?" I look down at the ground and smile. "Yeah I do." He searches for something, looking between James and I. He nods. "Okay." My jaw dropped in shock. "Okay?" He nods and smiles, a rare occasion to see in public. 

"I love you Ly. But if he hurts you, I will kill him. And our idiot brother for bringing him into your life." I roll my eyes, and push Regulus away. "Not if I do it first."

I turn to find James leaning against the wall, smiling like a fool. "Potter." He steps forward, reaching out to me. "Don't be like that, star. He started it." I relax into his arms. "Are you okay?" He asks, rubbing circles on my back. I chuckle, feeling lighter than I have all year. 

"I really should be asking you that. You are the one who just got into a fight." 

His eyes shine with happiness. "How could I be upset? I just found out my girlfriend loves me back." I giggle. "I love you so much Lyra Black." I brush the hair out of his face, causing him to hiss. "He got you good, didn't he?" I smirk. James frowns playfully. "My girlfriend is laughing at the bruise HER brother gave me. How rude." 

I giggled, unable to keep quiet. James joins in, our laughter echoing down the hall.

After a few minutes, James slings his arm over my shoulder as we walk down the hall. "Pretty good day, if I don't say so myself."James exclaimed, causing others in the hall to look at us shocked. A Slytherin and a Gryffindor. A Black and Potter. Who could have seen it coming?

Sure way to announce our relationship, that's for sure. 

We make it back to our classroom, and sit on the couch that James transfigured from a desk. I lean into his side, smiling up. "I should go get you some bruising paste from your eye." He shakes his head, wrapping his arms around me tighter. "You're not going anywhere. Plus I have a better way for you to make it better."

I quirked my eyebrows in question.

He leans down, his warm minty breath brushing against my cheek. His lips brush against mine, his eyes shimmer with mischief. 

"Kiss it better."

---

"As much as I hate to admit it, I'm glad it's him." Sirius says, leaning up against the wall as he and Regulus watched James twirl me around. "I still don't like it." Regulus pouts. Sirius chuckles as he nudges Regulus. "Oh come on Reggie. Ease up. Prongs isn't going to hurt her."

Regulus glares at him. "Do not touch me. This changes nothing between us." Sirius rolls his eyes. "You're so cute when you're brooding." Sirius teases. Regulus scoffs.

"I hate you." He storms down the hall.

"I love you too Reggie!" Sirius calls after him.

Five

"Healer Potter, you are needed in your office." I thank the Medi Witch before I head straight to my office. There was only one reason I was needed. Someone from the Order needed healing. It was agreed, when I was promoted that if anyone needed immediate medical attention, they should be taken to my office. 

I froze in front of my door, my hand on the doorknob. My heart raced, terrified that it was one of my three people behind that door. I take a calming breath. Whatever was behind this door, I needed a clear and calm mind. 

I open my door, searching to find someone injured. My jaw clenched as I find a smiling James sitting on top of my desk. "Nice to see you, Healer Potter." I narrow my eyes, searching for any signs he was injured. "Did you need anything Auror Potter? If you are injured, might I suggest you visit the emergency room." I huff, walking over to hand my robes on the hook. I refuse to look my husband in the eyes. "Is it wrong of me wanting to visit my wife on our anniversary?" He asks, cheekily as he jumps off the desk. I sigh defeatedly. 

"No it's not. But what is wrong is sending her into a panic thinking one of her loved ones is injured or worse."

James wraps his arms around me, my back flushed against his chest. "I'm sorry love. I am safe. Sirius is safe. Regulus is safe." He reassured. "We just got back from our mission and they're back at home. I just couldn't resist seeing you a second later."

I nod, turning in his arms. He wore a soft smile as he glasses slipped down his nose. I push them up carefully. "You're lucky I love you Potter." He placed a soft kiss on my forehead. "And I know it." He holds me close, enjoying this little bubble around us.

"Be ready for dinner tonight. Everyone is coming over." James reminded me as he put his jumper back on. I reach up, trying to fix his messy hair. I am almost certain, it was impossible. "Family dinner night." 

He chuckled, pushing my hair away from his hair. "My favorite night." He whispers, a hint of grief in his eyes. His parents passed last year and James took it hard. He was doing better. Each day was a new day, but now he was determined to have weekly dinners with everyone. Which meant every Thursday, Sirius, Remus, Regulus, Pandora, James, and I all had dinner at our house. 

I lean in, placing a soft kiss on his chest, right above his heart. "What was that for?" He asked confused. I smiled , slipping my hands around the back of his neck. "A kiss to make it better." He smiles softly and nods. 

"I better be the only patient receiving this kind of treatment, Healer Potter."

[our-arospec-experience]

(relationship/romance tw) "backdoored" anon here, I submitted that ask a bit ago and we actually broke up recently and I feel a lot better now. We are still friends I think but we haven't really talked at all since then bc of external factors but hopefully everything's alright... anyhow thank you very much for your concern and to the commenter for teaching me a new term.

Honestly, I'm really trying to get over my guilt because I feel awful that I can't love them romantically but I know that it's not my fault, and I just don't think traditional partnering is for me at all... I discovered I just want what's looks like a romantic relationship on the surface but with 0 commitment or romantic feelings if that makes sense? Like I wanna kiss and cuddle and fuck and go on dates and all that romance stuff because it feels good but I don't want to be anyone's partner even in an alterous way, idk if there's a specific word for it but its pretty cool I found that out about myself! Hopefully I can find someone for it who is respectful <3

I hope you do too, and I'm so glad you've stood up for yourself!

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Greys Anatomy AU - Lilliana at Seattle Grace Pt 4

What Lena doesn't know, however, is that Meredith overheard what Lena had told Lexie. About Lex, about Lillian, about the slap. The similarities to her own experiences rile her up, to the point that when Lexie tells her about Lena's resignation, Meredith storms into the chief's office the very next day.

"I quit."

Webber stares at her, then frowns. "If this is about Dr. Luthor..."

"If you hire that woman, I'm gone."

That's all she gives before blowing out of the room in a cloud of steaming anger. And then, as word of Meredith's ultimatum spreads, the dominoes start to fall.

One by one, the residents closest to Meredith deliver their own intent to resign if Lillian were hired. Even Christina, as much as it pains her, joins the movement.

"Let me guess, Yang," Webber drawls when Christina shows up in his office. "You refuse to work with Lillian Luthor."

Stiff and patently uncomfortable, Christina nods. "Yes."

Webber scowls. "You don't seem the type to sacrifice you career for an intern."

"I'm not," Christina says sharply.

The chief studies her for a long moment, then sighs. "Then this is about Grey, now."

Christina neither confirms nor denies, and Webber senses an opening.

"What is this really about?" he asks, leaning his elbows against his desk. "No one so far has been willing to give an actual reason I shouldn't hire Lillian."

Christina hesitates. "It's not for me to tell, sir." When Webber continues to pin her with a hard stare, she relents.

"Knowing what you knew about Ellis Grey, would you have offered her a job at the same hospital as Meredith?"

Webber's glare deepens. "Lillian Luthor does not have Alzheimers."

"I'm not talking about the Alzheimers, sir."

A punctuated and heavy silence fills the room, prompting Christina to escape as quickly as possible.

"I have a surgery to get to. Sir," she tacks on, hastily, before turning on her heel and disappearing out the door.

---

The next day, the chief's door opens again, this time admitting Lillian Luthor herself. Chief Webber turns from where he'd been staring out his window over the lobby below, and faces his prospective hire with a solemn expression.

"You run a good ship here, Richard," Lillian delivers pleasantly. "I admittedly had some concerns, giving Seattle Grace's recent dip in the rankings. But it seems they were unfounded; I'm actually rather impressed."

"I'm sorry, Lillian," Webber says solemnly. "I'm afraid I have to rescind my offer to have you join us."

Lillian stops, her smile freezing in place. "May I ask why?"

"I was ready to offer you any amount of money to convince you this was the right place for you," Webber continues. "Any equipment, grant funding, whatever it took."

"And yet."

"What I cannot do is replace an entire surgical resident class. Nor an intern who I'm sure you would agree shows great promise."

At that, Lillian's brow creases in consternation. "Excuse me?"

"How you and your daughter relate outside of this hospital is none of my concern. But this is a teaching hospital, Lillian, which means that we need students to teach."

Lillian levels an even gaze towards him. "I see."

"So as much as I would love to have you on this team," Webber, clearly having prepared an entire speech, continues, "if doing so comes at the cost of Seattle Grace's next generation of surgeons, I will have failed not only as Chief of Surgery, but as a teacher, and a mentor.

"It is my job to look to the future, Lillian. And we aren't the future anymore-- they are."

After a long, long moment, Lillian finally smirks.

"You always were a romantic, Richard."

"Hah!" Webber laughs. "I suppose so."

"Well, as disappointed as I may be, I won't fault your judgement. Not when that judgement accepted my daughter into your program."

Webber shakes his head. "Lena wasn't accepted into the program as your daughter, Lillian. She's a gifted doctor in her own right, and I'm certain she'll make an outstanding surgeon."

"Then I'm sure you'll shred her resignation letter?"

"If she's willing to return," Webber allows.

Lillian nods, content. She adjusts the strap of her bag, ready to leave.

"Keep doing what you're doing, Richard," she says. "You're doing an excellent job."

And then she leaves, as poised and elegant as she arrived.

----

Lillian doesn't return to her hotel. Instead, she heads to Lena's apartment. Lena answers her knock with a smile on her face, which disappears abruptly at the sight of her unexpected visitor.

"Mother."

They stare at each other for a long moment, until Lillian glances around her. "I'm more than happy to talk here in the corridor, however..."

She knows Lena wouldn't be. Lena has always been quiet, too reserved for a public spectacle-- which Lillian may or may not have attempted to exploit in her own favor at the hospital.

Lena steps aside, and Lillian enters the apartment with an appraising eye. The place is tidy and clean, though lived in, evidenced by the coffee mug forgotten on a side table and a book half buried under a rumpled blanket on the couch.

Lillian drifts to a stop at the threshold of the kitchen area, turning back to face her daughter where she hovered just inside the front door, now closed. Devoid of any medical charts to hide behind, Lena hugs herself, her gaze askance, refusing to meet Lillian's.

Faced with her daughter's clear discomfort, Lillian realizes with a pang that somewhere along the line, she has made a grave mistake.

"Why are you here?" Lena asks in a low, tense voice.

Lillian takes a breath, softening the set of her shoulders.

"I came to Seattle for you, Lena," she says gently. "I realize I haven't been as diligent in checking in with you as I should have been--"

"So you ambushed me at my place of work?!?" Lena snaps, her uneasiness snapping to anger in an instant.

Lillian almost flinches under the sudden heat of it. "Lena..."

"God! Where do you get off?? You ignore me, for *years*, and then expect us to be *coworkers*?!"

"How else was I supposed to connect with you, Lena?"

"My phone number hasn't changed, Mother," Lena hisses scathingly. "You could have tried picking up the fucking phone!"

"Would you have answered?"

Lena stops short, her cheeks reddening. Her jaw tightens stubbornly, but the way she looks away tells Lillian her concern wasn't entirely without merit.

"I know I haven't been the most attentive mother to you, Lena. What, with your brother's condition, and your father..."

Lena visibly stiffens, and Lillian swiftly steers away from the topic.

"Your brother needed me more than you did, sweetheart," Lillian tries again. "You know that."

Lillian sees the flicker of an eyeroll, before Lena closes her eyes in frustration.

"But I see now that our relationship has suffered for it. And now that your brother is doing well, I want to fix that."

Lena's eyes open, giving Lillian a suspicious glance.

"I want to fix us," Lillian repeats, more fervently. "Please, let me try."

As she watches, Lena's lips pull into a frown, shaking her head doubtfully. Still, Lillian persists.

"I declined Richard's offer."

At that, Lena blinks in surprise. "What?"

"It was not my intention to disrupt your life, Lena. Seattle Grace is the right place for you; I won't take that away."

Lena peers at her, plainly suspicious.

"But I'm not ready to give up on this chance to reconnect," Lillian clarifies. "Mercy West is also looking for a cardio-thoracic surgeon, and I intend to accept their offer."

Still, Lena says nothing.

"I won't force you into spending time with me, sweetheart. But I intend to stay, in event that you may be willing to."

When the silence stretches on, Lillian accepts that she won't recieve an answer tonight. That's all right: she's accomplished what she's come here to do.

"I'll let you get back to your evening," she offers gently. Still, she takes out the business card she'd tucked into her pocket earlier, and leaves it facedown on the counter, leaving the handwritten phone number clearly visible.

"My cell," she explains simply. "For whenever you're ready."

With that, she moves towards the door, pausing only long enough to give Lena's arm a small rub as she passes. She closes the door behind her, and takes a deep breath before continuing towards the elevator.

When the doors open, a familiar woman steps out with a pizza box in one hand and two-liter of soda in the other. One of the Grey sisters, Lillian recalls.

The younger woman only pauses long enough to deliver a curt "Dr. Luthor" before moving past Lillian. It's Lillian who turns and calls softly after her.

"You and my daughter," she begins, causing Grey to slow, then turn back. "You're close."

The younger woman says nothing, keeping the truth guarded close to her chest. Lillian nods.

"I'm glad," she says. "Lena deserves good friends."

"Yeah," comes the reply. "She does."

Clearly, this woman was one of the many who apparently had little respect for Lillian. Rather than invite any further condemnation, Lillian gives a nod of farewell, then turns back to the elevator.

"I overheard your son was feeling better," Grey calls. Lillian pauses. "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how long has it been since his last hospitalization?"

Lillian frowns at that. Even so, she reaches back into her memory, if only to appease a woman her daughter clearly feels deeply for.

"Almost six years ago."

Grey's head tilts thoughtfully. "That would be... around the time of Lena's first year of med school. Which was about the last time you heard from her, wasn't it."

It's less a question, and more a statement. The younger woman holds Lillian's gaze, undaunted.

"Odd, don't you think?"

Lillian's gaze narrows, but before she can respond, the moment ends.

"Have a good night, ma'am."

Grey continues her way down towards Lena's door, leaving Lillian to step into the elevator, uncharacteristically off-kilter. But by the time the elevator deposits her on the ground floor, Lillian puts the exchange from her mind.

After all, what would a stranger know about it?

[least-carpet]

Jiang Cheng

My favourite guy! Time to rant about him once again.

How I feel about this character :

It's his fault I'm on Tumblr, so. I love him. I love him! He's a super competent disaster with a serious attitude problem. He'll drag you to filth and he'll look good doing it. He has a cool lightning whip, a scary reputation and a beloved twerp of a 13-year-old nephew, who sasses him constantly to his face. He's perfect to me.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

There are some characters I ship more with him and some I ship less with him, but I will try most Jiang Cheng pairings at least once. Beggars (people looking for interesting Jiang Cheng characterization rather than a stock villain labelled "Jiang Cheng" ) can't be choosers. My current faves are ningcheng, chengxian, zhancheng, and chengqing.

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

If a relationship that's essentially a parent-child relationship counts, it's Jin Ling. I think Jin Ling's teenage years will be, uh, rocky, on account of his whole deal (teenage sect leader, variety of issues wrt his variety of evil/dead uncles, etc.) but they're very similar people. Also, I think their relationship remains the One Safe Secure Relationship for both of them. (It's good that Jin Ling is making friends and growing his social skills! You gotta have people to hang out with who aren't your jiujiu! But getting to know people is a whole process, especially as a teenager.)

Also, I think Jin Ling is the only person with whom Jiang Cheng got to be a version of himself and not Jiang-zongzhu or Sandu Sengshou. A parenting version! But a version of himself nonetheless.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

In this fandom, just being his fan counts as an unpopular opinion. Apart from that, maybe that I think it's that his big feelings are generally pretty reasonable? Like, yes, he is very mad at Wei Wuxian. But also, he's a person that Wei Wuxian harmed and what he wants is an explanation and for Wei Wuxian to be accountable to him. Given their previous relationship, I don't think that's unreasonable to want.

(And he lets Wei Wuxian go once he has the explanation!)

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

I would have liked to see some characters from the new Yunmeng Jiang sect. Jiang Cheng is so isolated when we see him, but he leads a whole sect! I want to know more about his relationship with the people he recruited. Where's his squad? Who's is second-in-command? I want to know!